Hi all, long time lurker first time poster
I need some help trying to understand what I might have done wrong with this girl I briefly dated (long post).
So I (M27) matched with this girl (F29). First date we met each other for a few drinks, fun evening with no awkward moments of silence since we had lots of interests in common. We walked down to the same bus stop and when my bus arrived and I went to give her a good bye hug, we briefly kissed.
On the next day we quickly agreed to out on a second date just a week after the first one.
Second date we went to a park for a picnic and we spent pretty much the entire day there, after we were done eating we simply laid down on the blanket and talked to each other for hours before going out for a walk around the park where we kissed again. Right after we both got home, she messaged me saying that she had a lovely day so we again agreed to go out on a third date on the following week.
For the third date we went to a bar where they had some arcade machines since we both enjoy playing video games. I bought a her a small bouquet (nothing fancy, just a simple bouquet since she had mentioned that she liked flowers) that I had the idea of giving it to her on our way home since she said that she was a bit introvert so I din’t wanted to give it to her in the middle of packed bar. But while we were playing some games, the flowers feel from my bag and she saw them so I gave it to her in the while we were on the bar lol. Overall we had a great time together and I felt she had a good time as well. While we were waiting for our bus, I said I would like to go out again next week and she said didn’t know yet whether she was going to be free or not.
The next day she messaged me saying that she had a great time and enjoyed herself but she didn’t felt any romantic spark, which is fair enough.
But now I got myself think on everything we might have done wrong that could have potentially ruined everything. Were the flowers on the third date a bit too much? I know that the the circumstances where I gave her the flowers were far from ideal lol.Should I have waited until the next day to ask her out again? I think that it is just a matter that she genuinely wasn’t as interested I thought she was but given how the first two dates went I can’t help but imagine that I somehow ruined everything on the third date.
Thanks for those who took their time to read this!
4 comments
Hey!! I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it to much. It seems like she liked you since she agreed to multiple dates. Maybe the flowers threw her off but like you said, she said she liked flowers so 🤷🏻♀️ I don’t think flowers on a 3rd date is to much. it literally could have been anything. Personally if you are wondering I would just ask her. Something like “hey, I respect you so much for being straight up with me. I just can’t help but wonder if there was anything I did wrong to push you away, as it seemed like we were having a great time. Anyways, I wish you the best ☺️” that way you can hopefully get a straight up answer and not wonder about it. It could have literally been ANYTHING, something not even to do with you. By the sounds of it you didn’t do anything wrong!
The flowers were way too much, brother.
Never ever invest so much into a girl.
For once, I don’t really think anyone did anything wrong. I think maybe the flowers showed her that you were genuine and maybe she realized she didn’t have strong enough feelings and didn’t want to string you along. It sounds like everybody respected everybody here and unfortunately, sometimes things just don’t pan out
I personally think flowers are a bit much on a third date, but I also know plenty of people who would love that and think it’s so sweet. I’ve heard stories of gifts on the first date that went over gangbusters, and gifts on much later dates that were very poorly received. Ultimately, you took a swing, and put yourself out there, and it just wasn’t the right fit.
You did nothing wrong, and neither did she. She was upfront and honest with you about how she felt, even though I’m sure it really sucked to hear.
My only advice for the future would be not to feel embarrassed or weird about giving a gift. If you went to the trouble of getting someone flowers, own that shit, and give them to her right off the bat. It’s kind, thoughtful, and shows you care. When you meet the right person, they’ll love it.