I’m 30F & all of my romantic relationships have been with women. I’ve never had a boyfriend whatsoever. I do find some men physically & sexually attractive but I’m unable to develop any emotions towards them. With women I feel a deep, vulnerable & caring connection.
Over the last year, I’ve tried dating men for the very first time in my life. Not going to lie guys are really cool & we have lots of fun as far as hitting it off in conversation & keeping that momentum going. I always tell the men I’m dating that I have been lesbian all of my life and am only testing the waters by dating men. I had sex with 1 of the guys but ended up ghosting cause he awkwardly wouldn’t leave after sex & called every single night & I thought it was clingy. Mind you…my attraction is only physical so him sticking around trying to cuddle and lay up was uncomfortable.
When I feel men start to develop a deeper “liking” for me that’s when I subconsciously withdraw from the dating situation. I’ve identified as lesbian all of my life but now I’m questioning if I’m bi if I’m unable to develop romantic feelings for a man? Most of the guys I meet tell me I’m a catch & I feel bad cause even if I genuinely enjoy their company, I have no inclination of taking it further than the physical (if it even goes that far cause I’m super picky if I do get physical with a guy). I could never picture myself in a happy, loving relationship with a man but am trying to be open minded & explore whatever I’m feeling. HELP!
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This is a perfect moment for me to ask a thinker like yourself this question. It’s about this “inclination to take it further.”
What exactly does that mean? Because like, you see how you mention that most of the guys you’ve tried with, that you’ve enjoyed spending time with them and you valued their company to some extent. (In my mind, if a girl told me that… if she told me she liked me as a person and she enjoyed my company.. in my mind we are gonna be dating or I like you) but for a lot of females, and yourself, it’s just as simple as “I like you” but no thanks… can you explain to me the thought process behind that.. is it a philosophy of yours, or is it just a certain feeling you have?
You can be heterosexual without being heteroromantic as well. Meaning you can find males sexually attractive with having zero interest with dating them.
Edit: sorry I didn’t indeed for the bi-erasure, I apologize. You can be bisexual and be homorimantic
I think as mentioned above you would prob go good with a bisexual polygamy lifestyle. If everyone in your circle is comfortable, respectful & communicates then no one is led on. Everyone has respectful boundaries & long as it can be respected that’s what matters.
If you’re sexually attracted to both sexes, you are bisexual.
Yep, plenty of people are sexually attracted to multiple genders but not romantically
Oh my God what did I just read. Makeup your mind? Smh
You are bisexual because lesbians don’t have physical or sexual attraction to men. There are a lot of people who don’t feel strong romantic attraction for people gay or straight.
Homoromantic bisexuality is definitely a thing, one of my friends is that way. She’ll date women but she’ll fuck anybody.
You just said you’re sexually attracted to them, so yes that would technically count as bi since sexual attraction is purely physical
I’m not interested in a poly relationship guys lol I’ve had the thought brought to me before but no thanks.
I guess my thing with identifying as bi would be that I’d still need to give some sort of disclaimer that I’m not interested in relationships with men. Most people if you’re dating will assume that there’s the possibility to develop into a deeper relationship and there is not that possibility with me. Maybe I should just leave men alone altogether.
I don’t want to confuse or hurt anyone but by the way men talk on social media I thought I could find someone who’s cool but wouldn’t start liking me in a romantic way. Maybe it’s not possible, idk.