Okay so I’ve made this ridiculously long. please bear with me. 19M, freshman. Turning 20 day this week. I don’t even think people know its my birthday. Anyways, so this is how it all began. I had online classes due to covid in first semester. I tried socialising with peers but nobody approached me. I asked ppl if they wanna hangout. people said yes, but guess what……… nobody turned up. Then college reopened and i thought I’d make some friends there and guess what……. even after being surrounded by people i was lonely af coz everybody was already hanging out with their group of friends.
I’ve always been an introvert my entire life but i really don’t mind socialising. In fact it’s the total opposite. I’m longing for friends and always approach people first. Idk what’s with me that people just don’t want to stick with me for long. maybe my sense of humor sucks or maybe i talk less. i really don’t understand but i would like to. there’s other so called ‘friends’ of mine and I’ve hung out with their group of friends as well. its pretty fun, chill for a while. and then that’s it…… nobody texts each other, nobody calls each other. im honestly so sick of life. i get so jealous when a group of guys chill and go to McDonald’s and play soccer together during weekends and then there’s me, pretending to be on a phone call while i walk to my class so that my classmates don’t think “he’s such a weirdo to be walking alone all the time.”
i feel like being bullied in middle school and general lack of friends from childhood has got me into this state of ‘friendlessness.’ as a kid, i was extremely anti-social. I’m not the same now, i do like to talk to people, but to this day, do not know how. I had always been an awkward kid whose dominance or presence was never felt amongst other kids in the classroom. never had any neighborhood friends either. i basically was and still am, friendless. i cannot undo my past but i dont understand how do i change the present either. i have never really played sports in my life because it felt daunting and overwhelming. the way guys scream and get excited everytime they score a goal always frightens the shit out of me. sportsmanship is just not my thing. its really difficult and complicated for me to express what i really mean on this platform. but please hear me out guys. i don’t wanna live a life of being surrounded by everybody yet being isolated.
2 comments
This exact same thing happened to me so I joined a sorority. Now I have approximately 3 friends but it’s better than 0. Bonus points that if I had never joined and met one of my friends, I would have never met my boyfriend either.
I do understand where you’re coming from because I’m the introverted one who gets adopted by the extroverted friend.
I might have some tips that’ll help you. Smile whenever you enter a room. People who lighten up the room and generally the vibe are so magnetic. Everyone loves being around someone who can make them feel better. A simple genuine smile does the trick.
Be confident in what you do. Whatever you’re studying, be educated about it. People find that attractive.
Don’t be on your phone to avoid social situations. You don’t give people an opportunity to approach you because they’ll think you are busy using your phone.
Oh and there’s a tip that I think might help you. A friend of mine asks these random interesting but weird questions when she meets new people. Like “if you could be an animal, what would you be?” This just creates room for conversation. Although this can only work if you’re not awkward about it.
Hope this helps:)