Hello, I’ve heard other people on this subreddit discuss this, but it’s challenging for me to have, shall we say prosperous friendships. I am introvert, in high school I felt like I was part of a community of friends (at least that’s how it feels looking back), though we’ve drifted apart due to COVID lockdown, and not going to the same school anymore. After a year of doing university classes online, I went to the university in person. I’ve made a couple of friends. However, it appears that I am more committed to the friendship then they are. I usually contact them, they only times they contact me is usually for help with homework. One of them contacted me first after we had met, as a courtesy, saying it is ‘awkward to make the first move’, another contacted me to ask if I watched a certain show they watched, but that was it. When I ask them if they want to meet up, they sometimes say yes, if they say no, it’s because their busy (their texts sound sincere), which is understandable, we are college students. I don’t think it’s just because their mean or anything. Like I mentioned we’re all busy with our studious, additionally, like I mentioned earlier I came to university to the university a year later then a bunch of others, so they probably also have their own communities of friends that they hang out with, so I feel like I feel closer to them then they are to me. In general, though I feel like people are just oblivious to other people’s concerns and are focused on their own issues rather than others. I don’t think they’re neglect, they do me favors as well, and are funny and nice to me. So, I guess my question is, how do I get them to be more interested in me, and does anyone else have experience with this, and how did they deal with it.
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Genuinely connect with people in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests, goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what people say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.