How can you recognize a toxic relationship when there are no arguments or fights? Are there other the red flags of toxic behaviors beside violence or disrespect?

4 comments

  1. Manipulation is probably one of the most unrecognized types of toxicity/abuse that’s found in relationships, even something as simple as “I’m won’t do X if you don’t do Y” is a form of it. It can be anything though, someone sulking or shutting you out for something minor, denying you something until you do something for them, gaslighting you or even trying to make you jealous.

  2. 1. being controlling about what you can and can’t do in your life. telling you what you should look like, who you’re allowed to hang out with, where you’re allowed to go and what things you’re allowed to pursue in life. a partner should have no control over these things.
    2. being passive-aggressive instead of talking about issues, refusing to face a problem and instead brushing it off while it continues to bother them and/or you.
    3. them refusing to stand on their own in the relationship and weaponized incompetence. so pushing the burden of doing most things on their partner, whether it be childcare, household chores, finances, planning dates etc. not doing enough and it’s especially bad when they refuse to learn.
    4. getting mad when you don’t let them cross your boundaries. say you’ve had a really long day and you don’t wanna talk and just sleep and they continue bothering you. or you don’t want sex and they keep nagging and pressuring you to do it anyway. and if you tell them a strong no to whatever they’re trying to push you to do, they start acting snappy or mean.

    that’s the ones that come to my mind immediately.

  4. If no issues or disagreements are ever discussed, that’s also a bad thing. Literally every single relationship (romantic, platonic, family, co-worker, etc) has disagreements or issues that arise, but it’s how we deal with those that matters. If they’re never discussed (ideally in a civil, respectful manner) then that means those issues are left untreated and will fester into resentment or an unnecessary outburst of extreme emotion. Sweeping issues under the rug constantly is not good. Full blown shouting matches are not good. Silent treatment is not good. There is a huge difference between arguing/fighting, and discussing a disagreement or issue as a team.

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