i have an “in” with a new group right now… my boyfriends friend group. consists of 6 boys who are good friends and three girls who are good friends. the three girls are younger than the 6 boys and i, but the boys know them and i don’t. the three girls who are friends are dating three of those boys. all in all pretty odd friend group situation, but bf wants me to make an effort with his friends and i will try my best. unfortunately i get very awkward with groups especially when i feel like i’m the newest member/outsider… i shut down and get very anxious and i don’t have fun.
does anyone have tips on how to act on this situation? how to not be awkward in a setting where i don’t rlly know anyone aside from my bf?
really want to be able to hold my own here… i can tell it’s important to bf that i vibe with his friends.
5 comments
I don’t have advice just wanted to say I empathize, I have the same struggle.
you dont be in a group. Simple lol
Try engaging in the conversation. Maybe ask some questions about say silly things they have done etc. Or just show some interest in getting to know the group dynamics etc.
But don’t make his friends your friends. Always have your own set of friends who have nothing to do with your boyfriend.
I wonder if you can ask your bf to hang out with a smaller subset of the group a few times so u get a little more comfortable with a few of the folks before going in for the full group again
Groups can be overwhelming because there’s a lot of people and habitually people befriend only a fraction of those. Just be nice and friendly enough with all of them, you don’t have to talk or overreact if you don’t want to.