My boyfriend wants to try a strap on

33 comments

1. Talk to him about your feelings and concerns. He’s opened up and been vulnerable with you, simply return the favor

2. Just tell him you aren’t comfortable with it. You’re allowed to have boundaries.

3. Only do what you are comfortable with. What part makes you scared?

4. Well first of all…. Don’t feel bad or weird if something sexual doesn’t exactly interest you.

   I think it’s awesome that you’re so accepting of your boyfriend’s bisexuality, and you’re open to new sexual experiences with him. So long as everyone is giving enthusiastic consent, then it’s all good.

   The strap on would obviously be used on him…. I don’t want to get too personal… but have you ever done anything to him in that area before? A finger, a toy, a plug, etc? If not… maybe it might be more approachable for you if you two started with something smaller like that. There is a middle ground here.

   And are you more open to a three way than you are to stay on? In the three way would it be another male or female? If its male, are you comfortable being nearby if that male were to penetrate your boyfriend? It’s something to think about.

5. I think you should just be open about it. If it makes you uncomfortable then talk about it. maybe you can figure out what makes it uncomfortable and perhaps you can start small, a finger? A dildo without the strap?

   Regardless not wanting to do one thing does not mean you can’t satisfy someone’s needs.

6. Well you could fix this with a quick trip to baddragon I guarantee one solid anal fissuring from one of their more adventuresome offerings will make that asshole exit only for life

7. You’re totally allowed to have boundaries if this isn’t something you’re comfortable with doing! That said, maybe if you took some time and try to separate the strap-on from the man, it could help you out. Lesbians using strapons don’t secretly want a man, the connection of a strap-on vs dildo is a different experience. It might help you reframe your mind from “my man is bi, so he wants me to use a strapon” to “my man would find pleasure from this and he would like me to do it.”

   I have no idea about numbers one way or another, but some straight men also enjoy being pegged. And they’re also not secretly hoping there’s a man on the other end, they’re doing it with their female partner for a reason.

   I havent used a strapon myself, but, conceptually I kind of just view it as a vibrator. I’m not trying to replace my boyfriend with a vibrator, it’s just a fun addition

8. Wait so you’re honestly comfortable with trying a threesome, but not strap on? But you say you’re vanilla.

9. Go for it hahah

10. Try pegging with a dildo first

11. Try finger, but hole.

12. Nah girl, do it. Try it anyway. Bring alcohol lol sex is important to be open to. You already knew what he liked so just sit back and enjoy the ride. Or at least try

13. There’s no badguy here or anything, but the fact is if he’s a bottom and you don’t want to fuck him in the ass, then your relationship is not going to work out. He’ll either cheat on you, be miserable, or ask to open up the relationship. I’d have a long talk with him about his needs and if this is a dealbreaker for him, and if it is then you both need to accept you’re sexually incompatible and move on.

14. Threesomes cause jealousy and I have never seen any relationship continue to be what it once was after one, never did it myself but I’d wanna do it with people I don’t give a fuck about

15. I’d be pretty weirded out if my boyfriend wanted me to peg him too. Something about being in (what I perceive to be) the masculine role of thrusting into him while he takes it just doesn’t sit right with me. I also wouldn’t be ok with a threesome though. I wouldn’t want to see him touching another woman/man or bottoming for a man.

    Sounds like some sexual incompatibility but if he’s not pressed about it I’d just leave it be.

16. He is gay. Dump him and let him free to experiment his sexual fantasies

17. Awe men.. My boyfriend is also bisexual and I peg him (not regularly but once in a while) and I really want to give you another perspective – a positive one from the females’ perspective. I think it’s amazing. It let’s me be in control, and he enjoys it on a much deeper level. There is something really sensual about pleasuring him on that deeper level. It doesn’t feel ‘forced’ or something that one of us is more into. Also his pleasures are met and the moment he knew I wanted to nurture that side of him, he couldn’t stop loving me (more oral sex or penetration in the long run). I see the joy he is getting out of it and it’s so worth it for me.

    Ofcourse both of you have to enjoy it for it to be something that will help your relationship grow. As my boyfriend says: sex is something we BOTH do, not just one of us that get’s to enjoy it. So keep that in mind. Maybe you should try other stuff first.. Enjoy!

18. Being honest with him is the first step. My gf and I started out scared of everything because it was all new but one of us would bring something up to try and we took tiny steps to make it more comfortable. Maybe it’s not the best way of doing things but we would both get a little tipsy and try it slowly and if either of us didn’t want to continue then we stopped. Not saying you have to do that but sometimes it helps relieve the uncomfy feelings 🤷‍♀️

19. Dump your girlfriend and find yourself a boyfriend

20. Come on! Do it! Make my dream come true! LOL.

21. When someone tells you about a fantasy, you know it doesn’t mean immediately, right? Like you might not know anything about how to fuck someone with a strap on, but he probably wants to work up to that, too. Keep talking about it, talk about the steps it would take to get there, and do small things slowly.

22. If you’re not comfortable with doing that then by all means, do not do it! Don’t feel bad about it either— your comfort is never worth compromising.

23. Why? Is his penis too small?

24. Suggest a different kind of anal stimulation toy that he could use on himself while having sex with you. Like a prostate stimulation vibrator. Tell him you don’t feel comfortable but here might be an alternative you could try.

25. Best thing I can tell is that you should think about what he’s asking for, maybe research it, think some more, and then state exactly what you want snd exactly what you do not want to do. Be 100% clear and firm. Don’t be wishy washy. And don’t let him or anyone talk you out of your decisions about what kinda sex you want vs. kind of sex you don’t want.

    Be firm. And be ready for him or someone else to ask why you’re choosing what you choose. It’s actually not a fair question. But you probably want to be ready with something like: “I thought a lot about it. I really did. And although I know it’s something you want, I just can’t bring myself to participate in that. For me, I think it would hurt the way that I feel about myself and the way I feel in our relationship. I dont want to risk those things.”

26. You should just try it if he asked. Not a big deal.

27. this is where the double standard comes from

28. I’m sorry but I’m old school man and a woman only. No crazy anal shit. If he is bi it opens up other thing to get disease’s and you affected not worth it. Run as fast as you can away from this situation.you should not be his Guinea pig to his Frankenstein experiment. If you were born with one you would not be a woman then would you?

29. You are allowed to be uncomfortable and say no. You can try and reach compromise,perhaps watch him use a toy on himself. It depends on what you are comfortable with.

30. I am a huge fan of the “wheel of consent” I’m adding a link to it but honestly didn’t read the page just checked the picture was good
    https://loveuncommon.com/2018/02/14/negotiating-sex-start-with-the-wheel-of-consent/
    Have a read and see where you fit

31. Well, he’s with a woman. So… If he’s tryna take it he’s confused about his role.
    A real man bends over for nobody.

32. Fuck him! (I mean that’s what he wants)

33. Do your research. Never go into a situation such as this without being loaded for Bear by means of information. You guys can start slow. Try manual stimulation of his rear. Work up to plugs and such. Then, when you’re both ready, find an appropriate sized phallus for the deed. Safe, sane, and consenting.
    You don’t learn to swim by diving into the middle of the ocean