I(19F) love my boyfriend(18M) more than anything, he is my best friend and he just makes me feel whole. I would really like to be with him forever i love him so so much. He is very determined to live outside when he is older, its just the kind of person he is. But its not the kind of person i am and i dont think I could do it with him. i always picture my dream house and it brings me comfort, thinking about living outside stresses me out.
Is this a deal breaker? I’m not sure what to make of this situation
12 comments
Ok . Let him get a tent.
How far into life is this living outside.
I don’t know how old you are. If you’re not an adult, then you don’t really need to figure this all out right now. He may change his mind.
But if he’s really serious and old enough to know, then yes, this is a deal breaker. Partners need to be in the same page on so many issues. Either one of you would have to compromise, or you’d have to both be okay not living together.
Finally, I cannot imagine living outside. I like things like heat, sleeping behind a locked door, having a place to keep my books, having a flush toilet, a couch, a computer.
You really need your ages on this one. The answer is going to be a lot different if you’re 18 vs 38.
What does he mean by live outside in nature? Living in a tent? Being a transient? Living in a yurt? Traveling in a RV? Where area does he want to live in? Is this a retirement plan or something that he wants in the next 10 years?
I used to work for the forest service and would spend 3 weeks at a time living out of a tent in the woods, while it was fun at 22 I wouldn’t want to do it now. Not being able to get warm when it’s freezing out or get dry when it’s pouring down rain and your tent starts leaking is enough to make you cry at times.
You need to talk to him about what his plan actually is and how serious he is about it. I get the impression that you two are fairly young and he’s probably had idealized the idea of living in nature without actually understanding what it actually entails. Have him watch Into the Wild and see if he still wants to live in nature. If he still does and you don’t then this might be a deal breaker unless he’s cool with sleeping in a tent in your backyard while you sleep in the house.
Oh he’s only 18? He’ll come around to understanding the need for a house.
Living outside really isn’t viable. “Exposure” as a cause of death exists because living outside long term is dangerous.
Is he planning on having a job and earning money, or just living outside and eating pine cones?
There’s a big difference between sleeping outside in the yard of the family house, but going to work and showering, etc. or just wandering around with sticks in his hair and dirt ground into his skin while you raise the kids on whatever you make.
It’s a lot easier to think that way when your 18. Things look and feel a lot different when your over 40.
You’re both still children. The idea of what you both want out of life will change significantly by the time it actually matters. Have fun and don’t worry about what he says he wants in 50 years.
I can totally relate, I dislike being indoors. Depends on where you settle down. I’d build him an outdoor sleeping porch adjoining your bedroom, a Murphy bed that pulls down at night, that you can join him on. A screened Outdoor kitchen, cozy indoor space that’s yours, like a mobile Tiny Home
Living outside when you’re old? Haha.
One thing is he is vrey young. Who know what he will be when he grows up. Secondly have you seen some of the (off the grid houses) these days? He better focus on getting great job.
You are too young to make this decision. Just live your life.