Toxic being an all encompassing word for someone that has negative personality traits that you’d want to avoid. (Habitual lying, gossiping, manipulation, backstabbing, etc)
Some people are on their best behavior for a period of time when you meet them, but that time is wasted if you later have to cut them off. Are there any signs or tests to make this process as quick as possible?
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eye contact, for those experienced at spotting the signs
Some things I’ve noticed with toxic people is that they’re very self-centered in conversation. When you talk to them, they often only think about what they want to say and never listen to the advice or opinions that you give. Try to spot if a person actually listens to you and remembers key details that you say. Conversation goes both ways
Source : As someone who used to be the toxic one in my late teenage years (The guilt is still haunting me to this day), here are some signs (personally for me):
-if the person is only (and mainly!) talking about others in a negative light, he/she may be also talking about you behind your back. Same if she/tell to you about someone’s secret/private life and tell you to avoid telling about it to others. May also expose your secret to another one.
-Always somehow telling stories where they’re the victim, blaming…More gossiping than anything else.
-Not seeming to enjoy life, negative vibes. Low self esteem.
-When you achieve something great or success, he/she may praise you but the compliments are short and seem insincere, there’s no more questions or interests towards what you just achieved. Oddly silent.
-Liking attention/likes, always need to show everything. Seeking pity.
-No self-respect -> High probability of direspecting others and their boundaries when he/she hates himself/herself that much
Anyways…you won’t always be able to discern toxic people in long term. People change for various reasons. It’s not like someone meets someone today and be like ‘’Yeah I’ll betray that person in 5 years’’. You could meet them during their worst time. Someone could have done only bad during their whole life. Someone could have the best intention for you and the world but suddently suffered from a trauma and changed for the worst just to make bad decisions disregarding everyone and screw up royally every relationships…until they may regret it or stay rotten. But yes. At some point, better cut fast once you witness red flags before it becomes something big. The best thing is to think about what boundaries you want to set and to say goodbye Asap to everyone who crossed it.
Develope ways to test the integrity of their word and character.
Do they say what they mean and do what they say?
Does their behavior match their rhetoric? Really, just pay attention to what they actually do instead of what they tell you or say.
Give them clear and definate boundaries of acceptable behavior and watch if they honor that. Toxic people cross all kind of lines and expect people to not hold them accountable or leave them.
How do they handle rejection? Can you tell them no? Do they respect your own agency or do they demand you conform and carter to them?
Can they be trusted to keep what they are told between you and them? Or do they gossip and talk about others when theyre not present?
Healthy mature individuals respect others values and boundaries. They dont feel a need to impose their will or views on others to be right or win during interactions. They understand that people have their own values and interpretations and can live with that. Simply put, they dont take themselves serious and communicate to understand others, not convince or coerce. They are usually respectful and treat others how they wish to be treated.
Toxic people are typically insecure, and thus they project their insecurities onto everything and everyone.
Hope some of this helped.