I came across a post where a 17 year old American complained how his dad was cutting his internet and redditors suggested he should offer to pay a part of it (to leave dad with no arguments), and iirc he replied he already pays the rent, and they just continued the conversation as normal.

Now, coming from Serbia, where it’s really common for three generations to live in the same house, this was new to me. I mean it’s consiedered normal here for bills to be split accordingly, but paying rent to live in the house you grew up in is weird ngl, and especially when you’re a teen/young adult.

43 comments
  1. It’s not common at all and weird. The kid might be talking about how his money from work contributes to the rent. His parents probably don’t make him pay rent to live there; he helps them pay it.

  2. Charging someone that is under 18 for normal household bills is not common. Telling them that they have to pay for their own extras (gaming console live subscriptions, Hulu if the family doesn’t want/use it, unlimited data on cell phones, etc) is more common.

    My daughter still lives at home at 20. She doesn’t contribute to the household bills because nothing has changed since she was under 18, I don’t see why I would charge her now when I didn’t then. She attends college and is responsible for most of the household chores more often than not due to my disabilities, so she earns her keep. She does pay for her own extras because she is lucky enough to have school paid for plus a monthly housing allowance paid by the GI Bill that her father signed over to her.

    I’m not sure that our situation is even remotely normal, but it works for us. I guess every family just does what works for them.

  3. I never paid rent, but anything that my mom would make me pay for, she took and put into a savings account for me. So when I finally moved out, I had some money to help me and she matched whatever was in there.

    In retrospect, it actually did teach me a lot about paying bills and being responsible as I had no idea she was putting into a savings account.

  4. It is not common nor uncommon. Some parents charge a nominal rent to adult children living at ‘home’ because they want that difference made clear, that they are not dependents any longer, and also for respect.

    Also to make clear that the adult child should be building up toward finding their own place.

    They are expected to at least pay for themselves as much as possible: clothing and food, if nothing else. If they are not working, of course that’s taken into account too. But they’re expected to look for work.

    It isn’t considered productive for an adult child to not be in education, employment, or training, so for their own sake, parents encourage independence. It isn’t like some other cultures where adult kids expect to live with parents forever.

  5. At 17 it would be considered unusual because the typical age when either university or employment (or perhaps, trade school) should be pursued is considered 18.

    17 is still a dependent age.

  6. In my experience it is not common and definitely not common at 17 unless the family is really struggling.

    At 17 you are still a dependent. You can’t even legally be forced to pay rent and your parents still have to shelter you. You are a minor.

    A parent saying “no we can’t get Netflix but you can if you pay for it” is entirely different than “we won’t uphold our legal responsibility to care for our minor child unless they pay us.”

    After 18 they can cut you loose. It is good to understand that you have to pay your own way in the world especially once you are out of school.

    My sister lived at my parent’s house into her 20s while she went to nursing school. She did all kinds of work around the house. My parents never asked her to pay for anything. Guess who just took significant time off work to help my mom out while she is recovering from a major surgery? Family should be about give and take and generosity.

  7. First, I would say that this specific situation seems I usual. However, in my life experiences this is also a class-based situation.

    Families from lower income situations or with less formal education may set expectations such as that their teen kids will get a job and pay for their own car insurance and petrol expenses. Or, the parents might say that if their kids want more luxury goods such as gaming consoles, makeup, expensive clothes, etc. Then again the parents might say that the teens will need to pay for such luxury goods themselves.

    Regarding children who are 18 years or older and still living with parents, this became way more common after the 2007 financial crisis. The biggest reason is that rising house prices and cost of living made it much much more difficult to own a house. At the same time, university costs and debt has also been constantly rising over the past several decades. Even for the people who did not go to college, the 2007 crisis had shockwaves in employment that made it very difficult for people to start careers for several years. And even for those who did go to university, there’s questions of whether their degrees are helping them get jobs.

    I have an uncle who did not go to college and lived with his parents until he was about 28-30 years old. He did not pay rent but he insisted that he split the utilities bill with his parents and that they take turns paying for groceries.

    When I graduated university in December 2017, I also fell into a trap where my degree was basically useless and would not help me pragmatically get a job. It was a degree in International Relations. I went back home to living with my parents for 2.5 years before moving across country to get my master’s degree, only I fear I will be falling into the same trap again and may need to move back with my parents again (I am 26 years old), and pursue something like the military and/or IT certifications to ensure employment. When I lived with my parents the first time, I paid for all my vehicle expenses, paid my student loans, and bought my own groceries.

  8. This one person’s story of being a minor child paying rent is not at all something that is typical.

    That said upon graduating high school, many parents do have an expectation of you getting a job or continuing education in some form.

  9. under 18, I would consider it weird and uncommon, and most likely illegal.

    over 18, still not common, but I have heard of it.

  10. I don’t even think it would be allowed to make your minor child pay rent. You’re responsible for them until they become an adult.

    I don’t think adult children paying rent is common. Though they may be expected to contribute to a different degree. I lived with my parents during part of the time I was in medical residency. While I didn’t pay rent, I did pay for the internet, satellite TV subscription, streaming services, and would contribute to the grocery bills (mom would tell me what they needed and I would buy it). It was a nice arrangement. For everything except dating, that is. haha

  11. It’s not normal for parents to ask for rent from minor children, but not unusual for kids who have graduated from high school and not going to college to be expected to pony up some money.

    If I had to place a bet I would say that kid is full of shit.

  12. Not common for teenagers, certainly. Adult children may pay rent to their parents if working, but generally below market rates. I know my mother would let me live with her for free if something were to happen where that became necessary, but I would feel obligated to at least help out with bills if I did.

  13. It’s not common, but I’d also take that story with a big heaping grain of salt. I read through a decent amount of that.

    There’s likely a lot more to that story than just “my dad is an asshole.” And that’s assuming any of it is actually true. This is Reddit after all.

  14. I don’t know if its normal but I did. Basically as soon as I graduated high school. $200 a month and if my mom was short on bills, I’d give extra to cover them.

  15. I think it’s trashy for a parent to charge their kid to live there. That’s just me though

  16. Charging minors rent is weird, you’re *supposed* to house them.

    When I turned 18 my parents told me that I could stay as long as I was either in school or working and I was helping out around the house. After I graduated college they did start charging me rent until I moved out, but it was way cheaper than I would have been able to find anywhere else.

  17. The idea of charging a high school kid for rent and internet is wild to me, like… he’s a kid! You brought him into this world! Seems like terrible parenting to me.

  18. As others have said, if the child is under 18/still in high school, it is very uncommon to charge rent. For adult children (say still living at home in their late teens or 20s) then it becomes significantly more common to charge for rent/utilities because you’re at an age where you’re expected to be providing for yourself.

  19. I am 22 I pay half of rent with my mom because we are broke. We moved into our current apartment as roommates with both our names and incomes. I didn’t pay anything or even work as a teen but once I was an adult I did start paying.

    If my mom was able to pay rent fully herself, I would just have to pay other smaller bills. But we are not in that position.

  20. As soon as I finished school I paid rent to my parents.(UK)
    1/3 of whatever my income was- wages or dole money.

  21. If the kid is a college graduate working a professional job, rent is common, perhaps covering food, cell phone, use of a family car, and such.

  22. No, that’s not common, but there may be more to it than they mentioned.

    I don’t think it’s unreasonable go ask an adult living at home to contribute something to the household. Once my kids are 18, they can go to school or get a job.

  23. When i got my first job at 15 i had to start paying for living at home. Contribute to mortgage, buy my own food, etc.

  24. I think it’s pretty common to pay rent to your parents if your 18 or older living in the house.

    Plus your phone bill, any streaming services you want, pay a portion of food separate from rent. And covers costs for clothing or new electronics as needed.

    I had a FT job with bonuses when I was 18

    Now 20 years later in the 21st century I plan to guide my kids to a good starting path and let them fly. But I’ll be here to help if they falter.

    I’m in a really different income bracket than my parents in the 90s.

    IMO everyone needs to leave home with some sort of laptop, a smartphone and a bed or funds for a bed wherever they are headed. Ideally a good running vehicle too.

  25. After college and once I got a stable job, I still lived with my mom for a bit.

    I made more money than her, so of course it makes sense to contribute to rent, food, and other bills. Why would I allow her to still take on that burden herself while reaping the benefits?

    As a teen, I worked summer jobs and used the money to just take care most of my needs and wants such as school supplies and outings, but not rent and bills usually.

  26. Not in my experience. I don’t even think my parents charged rent when a 30+ year old sibling moved back home.

  27. My mother in law owns the house we live in, and we pay her rent.

    When I was in my 20s I moved back home for school and my parents let me live rent free as long as i had good grades.

  28. **My rules for both my kids**: If you go to college full time, I got you so you don’t have to worry about work. If you decide to just stay home and work, you pay $500.00 /month into a custodial account. You can have it when you decide to move out as a starter fund. I personally think parents who let their kids stay home while not working toward anything are doing more harm than good. That’s not how life works.

  29. I paid rent for a while when living with my parents, but it wasn’t until after I was 18 and it was a small amount just to help get the bills paid. We went from my parents, my brother, and myself living there to my parents, me, my husband, and my sister and her 2 kids. This meant expenses went up such as electricity, water, and groceries so my parents needed some help to get by. Iirc my husband and I’s rent was ~400 and idk what my sister’s was. But that circumstance was the only reason I had to help

  30. I moved in with my mother after a divorce when I was 42.

    I stayed there for six months and paid $200 a month.

  31. Under 18 it’s not common at all and of course it’s illegal to “evict” a minor. In poorer families they might help with bills, but as you mention that’s not exactly rent.

    At 18 and older it varies. I’ve only personally heard of it in situations where the adult child is finished with school and has a job. My aunt and uncle had my cousin pay rent while he lived with them in his 20s, but they just stashed the money in a bank account and gave it back when he eventually moved out.

  32. Rent is typically just some feneric household contribution seldom is it anywhere near market value and normally is all encompassing so you “pay” 500 bucks to help out as a working adult but really you use up like 700+ worth of utilities and other costs. Its more a gesture of good will and a teaching method than actual revenue generation

    Its also more common in low or middle class households as they normally dont have the finances to just allow an adult to sit around for free

  33. I imagine tits do get used for rent a lot, but hopefully not by one’s parents (unless they’re in Alabama or Oregon).

  34. My mom was a widow and back in the 80s when I lived at home from age 21 to 23 she asked for a $100 a month so I got used to at least paying something each month. Seems normal to me.

  35. Emancipation age varies from state to state, so depending where you are 17 may be considered an adult. Paying rent to your parents once you have a job, is not super common, but I wouldn’t call it rare either. Most parents try to prepare thier children for living on their own. My mom made me surrender some money from every paycheck starting with my first job at 14. She didn’t call it rent, and put it aside. When I went to college she gave up 1/3rd of that money so I could afford my books and such (at the time I didn’t know the source of the money). When I got my first place after college she again gave me a third of it (this time letting me know that it was from my money I had surrendered) I was able to get a couple of things that were mine instead of just relying on family hand me downs. At this time I figured that source of funds had run out, but again mom surprised me when I went to buy my first house, though I had saved myself, my mom gave me the rest of the money and the full ledger showing she had also matched and gave interest on my savings. I was able to significantly increase my down payment and still had some money left for some wanted updates.

    My wife never did pay any rent to her parents.

    My best friend from high school’s mom also made him and his siblings surrender. However she elected not to give them back their money until they bought thier first house, got married, or turned 30 depending on what came first.

    Another friend and I were discussing having our kids pay rent when they were of age. He hated doing it and never got what I did. He simply paid rent and apparently his parents just used it to help the household at the time.

  36. When I was 18 my mom charged me rent for the summer just to get me to get a job. Now I’m 20, I still live with her but she’s never charged me again. I do pay for my own food though since we rarely eat together

  37. In my family it was about teaching financial responsibility more than actually contributing to house finances, but yes, some families rely on the extra income to keep the whole house afloat.

    When I first got a job my parents asked for 10% of my paycheck. It was my responsibility to calculate what I owed and get to a bank to give them the cash (we’ve always been low tech). When I was about to move out, they told me that they had put it in a bank account for me, and gave it all back. They didn’t need to extra 8 bucks a week I gave them, they just wanted to get me used to paying a bill and budgeting in a low risk setting. And so far, I’ve never missed one in my adult life.

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