My boyfriend and I have known each other for two months and been dating for just over one. Everything in the beginning was your typical honeymoon phase stuff. From the talking phase to dating phase to part of the official relationship, we had pretty healthy communication. We saw each other whenever we could and since I live an hour away from him, late night FaceTime calls were quite common together.
Due to some complications, I haven’t been able to see him in over a month and communication overall feels less. Everything the last few weeks has been dull compared to when we first started dating. I feel like lately I’ve been the one pulling all the weight in terms of communication. He rarely says anything if I don’t text first, and if I ever ask to FaceTime, I get met with excuses why he can’t. I’ve stopped asking to at this point. Trying to plan to see him is also a stress; we got close to having a plan before he had to call off the plans due to work meetings. He has a new job that’s contributed to why I haven’t been able to see him.
I know theres a honeymoon phase in new relationships that eventually die out, and I don’t expect everything of our relationship to be perfect. I have no problem with our honeymoon phase dying out, I’m just discouraged because we made it a point when we first became official to see each other as often as we can, or even FaceTime a couple nights a week because the distance is a little inconvenient.
Maybe this part is just my mind worrying too much about it, but it’s almost as if he doesn’t even care about our relationship anymore. Sometimes I don’t even feel like I have a boyfriend. I’ve never had a relationship before so I don’t know if this is normal or not, and my mind is in a state of worry. I want to bring up my concerns to him (we made it another point to always be honest with each other), but everytime I think of doing it I get met with anxiety. Should I? I feel like I need to communicate this to him but I also worry about the reaction I’ll get.
Any general advice?
3 comments
Info: Is he dealing with family problems? How many hours a week does he work/ go to school if he does? How often does he initiate communication with you?
Okay first, I’d definitely overcome your anxiety and just talk to him. He may be glad you mentioned it and explain a bit about why he’s been distant
He might just have stuff going on in life that has his mind elsewhere. It happens at every stage of a relationship.
And lastly. You’re a month into the relationship. I really wouldn’t worry. Your honeymoon phase should still be going strong. Like I said above, he probably just has other priorities taking up his time like his new job or maybe some family business.
Definitely tell him in a straight forward manner. He may not be doing it on purpose and may not even realize how it’s affecting you. When we get comfortable with a relationship, we can sometimes slack off on communication, especially when we have a lot going on in our lives that demands our focus.
Besides, telling him will resolve the issue one way or the other. Either he will be receptive and work on better communication, or he will get mad and then you know he doesn’t care.