Made a decision – might regret
Just needed to get this out there. I asked my husband to leave the house. Morning noon and night he is occupied with gaming. He works the minimum necessary to stay employed and spends most every other free moment at the computer playing counter strike. He is in a competitive tournament. It’s the third competitive tournament in a row that he has done since we got married just over a year ago. I am sticking to my decision- I can’t keep entertaining him when it is convenient to his gaming schedule, wishes and desires. I can’t keep feeling rejected as I come and go from the house with barely a greeting … or when he greets me it’s for 5 min to say hi before retreating back to gaming the rest of the day and night…
I ask him to walk the dog and take out the trash, he helps every once in a while. Maybe once every week or 2.
He has no problem disturbing my sleep when he stays up until 5am gaming, but when I try to plan anything, he is too busy, or tired, or is just sleeping it off.
Possibly he is depressed, but if he can’t assume any of the responsibility for anything, admit he has things to work on and come up with even the most rudimentary plan to address it, then what is our marriage. I asked for at least 15-20min per day together uninterrupted … he replied “no”. Then what is this marriage… it’s just a nuisance, why would we stay
11 comments
Also at this point in his life counter-strike should be a casual unwind type of thing not to play in competitive tournaments. Thats what teens and early 20 year olds do. Maybe he’s having a midlife crisis and wants to achieve something he never did at an early age. A marriage is a team effort. Time to grow up
Sad but the right move…no sense having a marriage from hell.
Good for you. It’s sad but if he won’t admit it’s an issue, he won’t change. You can only take care of yourself at this point. Hopefully he’ll have a “come to Jesus” moment and get his shit sorted with a professional if it is depression but it’s not something you can fix.
Good for you for standing up and giving those difficult thoughts and feelings a voice. I hope he hears you, examines his actions/behavior and makes some radical changes before it’s too late. Sometimes it takes a major event like this to shake some sense into a person. I hope it works. If it doesn’t, at least you know you gave him the opportunity and can put and end to it before throwing away any more good years.
He is refusing to leave now because he can’t go to his parents where his father will be on his case….I am just insisting I need it but i don’t see him leaving anytime soon
Why did you marry a hardcore gamer like that? Surely this isn’t a new thing.
I had to hand my husband divorce papers for him to stop playing world of Warcrap and engage in our life.
As a girl who used to play CS and also who chose to marry a gamer, I get both sides!
Props to you for sticking to your guns! (Pun intended). While my situation has turned out (much) better than it used to be, there were LOTS of times where I felt very alone and unseen. I wish I would have had the balls to tell him to leave. Would’ve been easier and less heartache for sure!
My husband still games, but he’s matured enough to listen to my requests when I need him.
All this to say that it took us YEARS to get where we are today. Maybe asking him to leave would’ve put a fire under his ass earlier and I wouldn’t have felt like such a chore for so long!
Best of luck OP! I hope your husband recognizes your needs and you both end up happy!
Wow! I am so sorry that you are in this situation. I hope that you find the strength to leave this relationship. You are looking for someone to share your life with not just give you less than 20 minutes a day. You deserve more and you won’t be happy with your current situation.
I’m so happy you figured this out before having kids together!
Awe I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope you find peace one way or another