There’s still time in the day but I’m not feeling confident. He didn’t say anything this morning but I wasn’t too concerned since mornings can be hectic. He’s texted me throughout the day, sending memes and articles… but not even the slightest indication that he even remembers.
Considering it’s always close to Father’s Day I don’t understand how he could forget.
I just feel forgotten and I feel pathetic when people texted or asked “any special plans tonight?” Or “what’s he got planned for tonight?” And I just don’t even know what to say.
I’m definitely feeling lots of feelings.
15 comments
I would remind him directly. Give him a chance to make it up to ya.
Communication is so important and letting something like this fester and bother you will only lead to more hurt feelings later on.
People make mistakes. They forget stuff sometimes.
Maybe even send him a calendar invite in Outlook or on Gmail so he gets a reminder every year 🙂
Ask him if he has any plans tonight for your birthday.
First…..
# HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Second… yeah… sucks when it’s forgotten. I’m “lucky” in that I can’t forget my wife’s. It’s the day after Christmas. That makes it more challenging, but also results in her family sometimes forgetting since everyone gets busy with holiday gatherings with their own nuclear families. It’s always a guess as to which siblings (she’s one of 7) will call and which ones will remember 2-3 days later.
As for the people asking, tell them “he’s told me nothing so I don’t know”. If it’s someone that knows both of you well, perhaps they will contact him to find out and that will be his reminder.
I’m hoping it’s a “long game” approach, but they always say “hope for the best, prepare for the worst”. In this case, prepare for the discussion you’ll want to have with him when you finally clue him in. And if it was a “long game”, prepare for the conversation about how this was a bad way to handle it because it had you doubting and hurt most of the day rather than anticipating anything like he might have been imagining.
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday for what it’s worth. Hugs. Mine didn’t get me anything for mine not even a special dinner or gift.
I’d remind him. Don’t open the door to hurt that can be avoided.
Some people just don’t consider birthdays important.
If you do (consider them important) and he doesn’t, you can try to change him or accept him for who he is.
I was raised a celebrator and my wife wasn’t. It is a little awkward to answer questions like “anything special planned?” But if I cared enough I would let her know and give her reminders. I have accepted this is who she is.
As others have said remind him. Definitely not a good thing that he did/may have forgotten, but better for both of you for you to let him know so that he has a chance to do something special to make it up to you last minute than have this forever be the time that your husband didn’t celebrate your birthday.
Just say something. Stop testing him and say what you need him to do.
I mean, it’s like you want to be upset.
I made my wife’s birthday my safe combo and still forget about it sometimes.
Married twelve years, I still love her very much…luckily she understands I’m a fool and will forget it…we even have a shared calendar with all of our relatives birthdays that she spent the time adding and I won’t notice or forget to call… she has truly tried.
Lucky for me she knows I’ve forgotten when I don’t wake her up at midnight to tell her happy whatever because I’m excited I remembered…so when she does wake up she will usually tell me…so since you’ve forgotten about my birthday, I want etc. and I’ll have the day to make up for my ignorance
Well, the day’s come to an end. What happened?
I wish I could have a chat with him as one of this sub’s grandpas.
Been married 22 years, both my wife and I are not big on special days/occasions. Though never forget each other’s birthday, but we almost never celebrate aniversary, valentine etc. Our marriage is very strong and happy though. Everyday is special.
I’m sorry you are feeling overlooked and forgotten. I know how that feels in general. Although my wife gives me a good birthday celebration, my needs are generally overlooked.
I forgot my husbands birthday once. I love him so much, he’s the love of my life. I was so stressed with school stuff (nursing school) and just beginning to experience severe anxiety (not sleeping at night, having circular thought patterns). He asked me what I’d planned for his birthday and the immediate realization of my fuck up was likely written all over my face. He let me make it up to him. I appreciate the kindness of that forgiveness every year it comes around. I had always gone all out in the past and I can’t imagine what he must have thought was happening. I know I’m late to this post but I hope today turned around for you and I’m sorry he forgot. I guess what I’m saying is, it could be from a non malicious place like my screw up was.
Assuming other parts of your marriage are ok and this is just a thing that keeps happening, maybe he’s just really bad at date tracking. If it’s important to you I would take it in hand and a week before say something like “Wow! It’s only a week until my birthday on Sunday. I think this year it would be great to go out to dinner & a movie.” And if his response is anything other than direct acknowledgement that he’ll set it up, either ask him to do so – or set it up yourself. Invite some friends. At the end of the day we are responsible for our own happiness. 🙂