This is a little long to read :
I’ve been dating this guy for 7 months now. But this past month has been the worst I have ever felt with someone. I’m constantly anxious and find myself crying because I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend has always been so affection in person and In text messages. He always would call me every chance he gets and he was always so happy to talk to me but now everything has changed. He says I’m thinking about this too much but honestly I don’t think I am. I felt our sparks at the beginning and now I feel sparks are gone. And he even said it himself that it’s normal for sparks to go away and I don’t think it should.
Here are the reason why I think he changed so much and our relationship isn’t the same :
• He never seems he wants to talk to me, he used to reach out to me constantly and always wanted to talk to me. Now I find my self texting first and I get no response for hours and I have to call him now because he won’t call me first anymore…
• all his replies are so dry and short. He doesn’t even call me baby anymore or nothing. All I get was “ okay “ , “ I was busy “ , “ hi” , “ what’s up”.
• he always would tell me how much he loves and wants to marry me. I even found him looking at engagement rings through his history by accident . Now I bring it up , I say” I can’t wait to marry you someday “ and he doesn’t say anything , the most I get is “yeah”.
• He wanted to share his location with me a while back so I check when he is home so I can call him to make sure I don’t get him in the wrong time . I even tested this , I didn’t call him at all and he was home . And he didn’t even bother to text or call me but yet he could be active on social media uploading stuff.
• He changed his profile picture to a picture of himself only
•When we do talk , it’s mostly quiet . He doesn’t talk anymore .
We are now doing long distance because I graduated from college and I had a accident so I had to come back home. It’s been a month since I’ve came back.
I’ve talk to him about it and I’m always apologizing about if I’m to pushy or I’m not giving him space but I wish he would communicate with me. I could pour my heart in a text and I get ignored . He says I’m over thinking this but honestly I don’t think I am. He isn’t the same anymore . And I’ve been in long relationships , my last ex was my fiancé and we were together for 10 years!! And we always acted like we were bestfriends and there was so much spark but this is different.
3 comments
I’m going to be brutally honest.
He’s slowly distancing himself off from you.
One word answers, being unresponsive, and not being a partner while being affectionate towards your needs means he no longer wants to be with you or cherish you.
That’s the honest truth.
Bringing up the ring also with a simple, ‘yeah,’ is about as obtuse and clearly tells me he doesn’t have any more interest in the relationship.
Yes, as the relationship does get more serious, we tend to get comfortable, but we also respect and give our significant other some attention and emotional/physical comfort so they don’t feel this way.
EDIT: He’s dismissing you are thinking too much terribly. If he actually cared he would’ve shown some modicum of reassurance.
I have a tendency to think that LDR tends to strain relationships, so unless there is enough communication and effort on both sides it can still work. But most likely he’s checking out.
When a woman gets into an accident, she’s less able to perform for him physically. He may have noticed this and then distanced himself for you.
“I felt our sparks at the beginning and now I feel sparks are gone. And he even said it himself that it’s normal for sparks to go away and I don’t think it should.”
“He changed his profile picture to a picture of himself only.”
“We are now doing long distance …”
If something doesn’t *feel right to you*, it’s probably *not right for you*.
When you realize your partner is unable/unwilling to meet your needs it’s usually best to move on.
Maybe he has lost interest, or you simply don’t speak the same “love language”.
During the “infatuation phase” both people tend to bend over backwards to please one another, conversation/laughter flows easily, they avoid doing/saying anything which might “blow it”, cards/token gifts are given “just because”, and sex is spontaneous and off the charts!
For the inexperienced or little experienced dater, it’s easy to believe you’ve found your “soulmate”. However, the reality is most times people haven’t revealed their “authentic selves”.
Some people are truly *die-hard romantics*, and not only do they believe they can sustain this type of effort they actually believe over time things will get even better.
Imagine if two die-hard romantics got together, how wonderful their life would be!
So, you might wonder why doesn’t that happen?
You also have other people who “behave” like *die-hard romantics* in the *beginning* of all new relationships but for them *they don’t expect* the infatuation/honeymoon phase to last forever.
You can’t compare this relationship with your ex especially if it took place when you were really young. If you just graduated from college and have been dating your current boyfriend for 7 months and you dated your ex for (10 years) that sounds like “first love” childhood stuff.
Your boyfriend’s other actions seem to indicate maybe this relationship has run its course.
Whenever there is no *realistic light at the end of the tunnel* for long distance relationship whereby someone will be relocating to be with the other, couples usually drift apart.
It’s the counting down of the months, weeks, and days until one is finally done with the inconvenience of being in a LDR that keeps it strong!
***”A long-distance relationship can only work if there is a plan to end the distance.”*** – Unknown
***”Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”*** – Oscar Wilde
***”If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.”*** – Unknown
“***Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.”*** – Henry Cloud
Best wishes!