I have no idea how to put myself out there. I’ve tried to go to all types of events ranging from MeetUp hikes to traveling and trying plant medicine and healing circles. I’ve even tried reaching out to my few old friends but find they never reach out to me in return.
I haven’t made myself invulnerable. But I try these things and it never translates into friendships like I remember being able to make in school and university. I work from home and mainly with an older crowd who live in other parts of the country.
What am I doing wrong? How do I develop meaningful platonic connections? I feel so lonely I have no idea what else to do. I feel like I’m losing myself and missing out on so much life.
2 comments
Think about it this way. You want people to text/invite/connect with you, which is fine. But why should people text/invite/connect with you ? The truth is people subconsciously attach you to the value you bring to your interactions. In other words, there has to be a clear, unique, and convincing reason for people to reach out to you. People gather this from the quality of conversations you have with them. You reaching out or knowing them for a long time isn’t simply enough for them to reach out to you. You have to genuinely connect with them in person, be confident in expressing yourself in person, and bring positive vibes. Even better, find ways to add to people’s lives. Maybe you have a skill, hobby, or talent that aligns with people’s interests. Let them know about it. Offer to help people in some aspect of life. People respect those who impact their lives.
In general, people are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation. They gravitate towards somebody who is self confident and well-rounded in life. You need to focus on becoming genuinely busy in life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while learning how to interact with other people on the side. Find something you enjoy doing or are passionate for and keep doing it overtime. Find groups in your area who are also pursuing the same thing. Chase excellence, not people.
I’d like to be your friend. Just someone you can exchange texts with when you’re feeling lonely or down. Hmu