Ive had three instances in the past year where a coworker/coworkers made a joke about people with small dicks being bad at sex, or playing the song “short dick man” while having a laugh, or saying that an asshole customer must have a small dick
Every time it’s happened I feel hurt but I don’t show any emotion because I’m terrified about people finding out I’m not well endowed. I was bullied for it when I was in high school and I’m still hung up on it.
They’re not bad people, and asides from those interactions ive had a great time working with them
TL;DR afraid to tell my coworkers that their small dick jokes hurt my feelings due to heavy bullying i received over the size of my genitalia growing up. Want advice on how to tell them to cut it out
6 comments
I can’t think of any way in which you can make them aware that doesn’t cause you great awkwardness and possibly open you up to facing more jokes. I suppose you could go to HR and lodge a complaint, but they may know it was you anyways. Outside of that my only advice is to find a way to ignore it or look for a new job and remove yourself from that toxicity and childish behavior.
You have three options here mate.
1. Do what us Aussies do. We take it in pride 🤣 Small, big, thick, thin, long or short. We all make it a joke that we are all small. Keep those ladies guessing. The only chick’s who really care about your size are the ones who can’t feel the difference anyway! It’s the energy that counts, not the size.
2. If its not your type of humor (and it’s not everyone’s and that’s fine). Just ignore it. Water of a ducks back my friend.
3. Make a formal complaint to HR, but do it as discreetly and anonymously as possible. Maybe request a meeting after hours in person. Explain that you cannot risk people seeing you in the office and do not want to run the risk of being singled out for speaking up. It’s a very real issue and should be respected by your HR department. If they have an issue with that, go to your ombudsman/union about the HR dept’s lack of care.
Good luck, remember, it’s there for your pleasure not hers! Tell em to f÷%k off 😉😝🍻
You’re still *hung* up on it? (Jk, jk 😉)
Bad jokes aside, you could try this:
Tell your coworkers that you met an interesting little person and had a really eye opening conversation with him about the way casual jokes about “napoleon syndrome” and “short-man complex” feel to someone like him, who can’t control his height, and how unfair it is that these negative personality traits are automatically assigned based on things they can’t control
Tell them it got you thinking about the ways you do that in your day to day and made you feel like you wanted to be better, because you never know who you might accidentally be hurting with these casual insults and cliches
Then the next time somebody makes a small dick joke, tell them that it isn’t fair to insult short-dick men by comparing them to giant assholes, but you’re happy to make assumptions about how rarely he gets to use his dick, whatever length it is
Truthfully, I don’t think there’s a tactful way to get the message across unless you’re willing to share the reason those comments bother you.
I can appreciate why they do, but I wouldn’t risk calling attention to yourself by asking them to stop or reporting them to HR. Removing yourself from the conversation for 10 minutes three or four times a year seems like the easiest course of action here.
File a sexual harassment suit it’ll end fast
I would consider going to HR. Most places poo poo this kind of talk as sexual harassment. Let HR handle this. It is what they are for.