36m, recently divorced after a 10 year marriage. I was never a very overtly sexual person, but my ex-partner definitely helped me understand myself sexually and open up some kinks I never knew existed. Now that I’m on my own I’m curious as to how to find others with the same likes and experiment without judgement. I’ve dated a bit since my separation, had some fun and been vocal about what I’m looking for, but can’t seem find the right people to have fun with. I’m kind of clueless with the app/website side of things so looking for some advice on how to find some like minded people.
Any information is greatly appreciated
2 comments
There are some apps/sites for this thing, but I can’t recommend them since I haven’t been there.
If you’re talking about real life, you basically want to externalize these traits in an extremely tactful and subtle way, but only in the appropriate context. You basically want to be charming, and use that charm as a carrier wave for your sexual preferences, without being a creep.
For instance, if you’re into BDSM, you could try displaying more dominant/submissive traits around people you’re sexually interested in. If they like you back and are into the same stuff, they wheels could start turning in their minds. I’m not single/looking for someone, but I was once having a chat with a girl at work. At some point, I commented on a dog who was wearing one of those spiked collars. She continuously tried to steer the conversation to naughty stuff, ‘joking’ about whether the collar would fit her neck etc.
You can make an account on fetlife and search for groups in your area. A lot of people in the kink communities will host a “munch” which is basically a meet and greet at a public place, sometimes a bar or other venue, it’s a great way to meet people make friends and show your face around. It’s definitely not a speed dating type of deal so go into it with the idea of building friendships.
Also find a subreddit for your area and just ask if there are any munches. Someone is bound to reply