What are some things that need to be discussed with your partner before moving on to getting engaged/married?

7 comments

  2. * Do you want kids? How many?
    * Where do you want to live?
    * Do you want a prenup?
    * What sort of debt do you have?
    * What are your expectations for your relationship?
    * Do you have a certain timeline for your life? (kids at a certain age, get married at a certain age, etc.)

  3. Children, career, hobbies, politics, relationship goals, literally there is so much that I think one should talk about before getting married. My husband and I discussed almost everything to make sure we know each other’s boundaries, expectations, goals, needs, wants. All of it. And we talked about all of this laughingly and willingly too, it’s so fun to talk to him about everything! Sometimes I think we are the same person.

  4. 1. Children
    2. Finances
    3. life goals
    4. religion

    Not a “discussion” but I also super recommend living together awhile pre-marriage just to ensure general compatibility.

  6. Kids, housing, religion, politics, sex, retirement plans, division of labor, gender roles and if they are relevant to you, if marriage itself is something either of you wants or if you’re just following the script society has made up for you.

  7. Many good suggestions here. I’d also include

    * Division of household labour. For heterosexual partners way too many men expect that women will take on the lion’s share of household labour, and almost all divorced women I’ve met cite unequal household labour and childcare, and arguments over it, as a factor in their failed marriage.
    * Any other thing that you sense would be ‘non-traditional’ in a marriage. For example, I’d personally want to have separate bedrooms from my spouse in our house, because I need my space, but I can see how that could be interpreted as a sign of a ‘troubled marriage’ by my partner. It’s something that’d need to be discussed prior to marriage.

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