I’m fucking scared. Not because I think I’m not pretty enough and the idea of someone seeing me naked makes me nervous, but because I’m so scared of getting pregnant. I know there are many ways to prevent pregnancy, but none of them are 100% sure. I don’t want to get pregnant, and I don’t think I would have an abortion if I did. Although I am pro-choice, I don’t think I would have one because of the way I was raised. Right now I don’t have a boyfriend, but I can’t stop thinking about my future partner, what if I get pregnant and he leaves me? What if I get pregnant and I’m not a good mother? The truth is that I don’t want to have children, they annoy me and besides the world is pretty fucked up and I don’t want to bring a child to live in it.
Please, I need an advice
Btw sorry if I wrote something wrong, English isn’t my first language
4 comments
Honestly, just be very clear to your partner about this and as long as your partner listens wears a condom there is no reason to worry. There are options like morning after pills, birth control and oral abortion pills that mean you do not have to go through a medical procedure if you do very very unlikely get pregnant while using a condom. Just don’t feel pressure to partake in unprotected sex.
Anal sex is safe to avoid pregnancy. While you definitely need to work on your fear of getting pregnant or that birth control will fail I’m just saying anal sex is pregnancy free.
Married male in my late 20s here. I have a number of things to say. I’ll address them one at a time.
> I’m so scared of getting pregnant
Let’s present the statistics.
If you get an IUD or accurately take birth control pills and have your partner wear a condom, it is *extremely* unlikely that you will get pregnant. Of course, it’s not a 100% guarantee, but it’s damn close. An IUD by itself has around a 99% efficacy, more than a vasectomy, [according to the CDC.](https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/contraception/index.htm) Combine that with a condom? You will be completely fine. I don’t know your age, but [there is no age requirement for getting an IUD](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/iud/how-can-i-get-an-iud).
Even if you didn’t want an IUD, there are many female birth control options that will be extremely effective by themselves when used properly and especially when combined with a condom.
Even couples who *are trying* to have a child only have a [15% to 25% chance](https://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/getting-started-on-getting-pregnant) every month of conceiving. Birth control is extremely effective in preventing pregnancy. As long as you aren’t letting your partner ejaculate inside you during sex, you can rest easy.
> Right now I don’t have a boyfriend…what if I get pregnant and he leaves me?
While this is technically a possibility, you should trust yourself to pick a partner that will not do this. You decide who you want to date, and while you can’t control another person’s actions, you have the power to date someone who has strong, moral values and who wouldn’t leave you if you became pregnant. This worry makes me think that you’re fairly young, although I could be wrong.
> What if I get pregnant and I’m not a good mother?
Everyone thinks they are going to be a terrible parent. This is a normal feeling to have. But, again, if you use dual protection when having sex the likelihood of having to be a mother at all is extremely minuscule.
The last thing I’ll say is that if you don’t want to have sex, you don’t have to. You sound fairly young. Again, my apologies if I’m wrong. However, worried about getting pregnant is a normal reaction to having sex and, in the end, you don’t have to have sex until you’re more comfortable.
My suggestion would be to find a birth control option that works for you and have any future sexual partners wear a condom, no exceptions, until this fear simmers down.
Stick to oral