• We’ve been friends for almost 2 years. It all started when I had a tiny crush on him…. But after a few days he came out to me and told me not to tell anyone…. I respect his decision and I will not tell anyone about this. But that’s beside the point…. We have been very close and he has helped a lot when I was going through one of the worst periods of my life…… And I have always been supportive of him and I love him immensely….. But lately he isn’t responding to any of my calls and texts. And whenever I ask him to hangout he makes up lame excuses and avoids it. The whole friendship of ours is based on his whims. This guy who was so supportive and caring when I was suffering with depression…. Is all of a sudden laughing and joking when I confide in him about my trauma and the attachment issues I have because of the trauma….. I want to talk to him about this but I don’t know how…..
Any advice??
2 comments
Clearly your friend isn’t prioritizing talking to you and their actions show it. You need to leave them alone for now. The more you worry about them, the more needy and desperate you will become towards them, and they will disassociate with you permanently guaranteed. Now is the time you need to focus on becoming genuinely busy in life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while learning how to interact with other people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by those who are needy, desperate, and overly attached to them. They instead gravitate towards somebody who is self confident and well rounded in life. The Easiest way to get started is to find some kind of activity you enjoy doing and keep doing it overtime. You will build self esteem and self confidence. Chase excellence, not people.
It doesn’t always have to be something that you’ve done.Maybe there’s something going on in their life and they are to busy dealing with that. I’ve been through the phase where I ignored my best friend for no fault of their own just because I was fucked up in my head. Or maybe they are tired of dealing with your problems and just need a break. Like you said you are going through a lot and for them to be there for you constantly can get tiring.
Just have a conversation with them. Ask them what is going on in their life and tell them how you feel about growing apart from them. I hope it works out well for you.