For context: I’m 28 and got very depressed from age 20 to… well, still currently really but things have been improving a lot these past few days, mostly because of what this post is about. I started socializing again last week and I’ve been getting some attention from girls after years of isolating myself. Which is great, but I lost a lot of social skills throughout the years.
Mostly, I’m very uncomfortable with seduction and affection so I’m a bit concerned about this date. I’m somewhat okay with displays of affection with girls I don’t know, I did last night and it was great to feel desired after being lonely for so long, but I’m very uneasy with those I know because I care about them, and this date will be with a girl I’ve known for a few years.
We just reconnected last night after quite a long time without seeing each other, and she showed she was interested in me and asked me on a date this morning. Since we’re familiar with each other and have always gotten along, it would make sense she’ll want to get physical during the date, but I already know I’m going to be cold. I think I put too much pressure on myself when they’re already in my life. I’ve always been like this, even before depression. I’ve never even just kissed anyone I knew, only total strangers, which is pretty damn sad.
Not sure what to expect from this post, I don’t really have a precise question, but I’ll take any advice that could help me stop putting too much pressure on me I guess.
2 comments
Do you want to be cold?
First of all: I think the fact that she was interested enough to ask you out means that you left a good impression on her, so I encourage you to give yourself credit for that!
Possibly controversial, but my advice for your date: I think you should be honest with her about how you’re feeling. Something like, “hey, I’m going through a little bit of a tough time right now and I hope you can be patient with me if it seems like I’m not meeting you at your level.” You could do this relatively early in the date, or you could hang on to it until she touches your or otherwise gets flirty with you – whatever feels right for the way the conversation is going.
I think you’re going to do great! I encourage you to live in the moment during your date and not enter with any expectations of how it’s going to go or how you’re going to react to her. Best wishes and let us know how it goes!