I feel grief and I lost trust in women after many unpleasant accidents. I have been deceived, exploited, and insulted by women a lot. I thought that there might be a woman who will love me for who I am, and take care of me but this was unrealistic, reality is way too different. All women who I met in my life were so exploitive, heartless, and offensive towards. Today, I just thought and decided to just be single forever, to stay in peace, and keep myself away of exploiting and offense. Is this decision correct?
Edit: for all redditors who arguing about the part “Taking care of me”, I meant kindness and homechores, I didn’t mean the financial aspect, I can take care of myself financially thankfully
38 comments
No, I would say that is a bad decision.
Firstly feel grief and a loss of trust in the people you have dated, not all woman. Have a look at what it is you’re putting out there, if you’re having bad experience after bad experience- may be a case of poor luck, may not. I’m not sure on what level you wish to be taken care of, but this can be dangerous territory if its anything beyond supporting and loving you.
Take a break from dating sure, cause it sounds like it’s taking its toll on you! But use the time to build yourself up, then come back to it when if it feels optional, not obligatory
Do whatever you need to do to be happy.
Keep a mindset of self improvement. Befriend the woman that crosses your path and have no expectations. If things progress great, of they don’t that’s ok. Keep the focus on you.
In due time, when it’s right, you will find the right one.
Its natural to become jaded and cynical after such experiences. Take a break. An year or two. See how it goes.
Unless you’re aromantic and asexual, you’re just saying this out of frustration and you’ll be back to dating.
Some women suck, some men suck, we can’t control that, but to some extent we can control how we allow them to affect us. You shouldn’t let these abusive women from your past control your future and stop you from ever finding love. Wasting your life dwelling on these women is going to hit you back in the face and cause you to feel deep regret for wasting your life away when you’re older.
Next time you date, review those past situations with these women, as painful as they were, so that you can go into dating being more conscious and cautious to red flags instead of being oblivious to them or ignoring them.
Why do you need a woman to take care of you
Some people are perfectly happy on their own. Some people value human companionship. If you value that then never give up on finding it.
You can find a million songs/movies/books about the frustrations and pain of finding love, but there’s a reason most of us keep searching for it.
If it’s what makes you happy then it’s the correct decision. Reddit can’t tell you what to do. Do you, give up, be happy, stay hydrated, rest well!
I see we’ve been dealing with the same women. Good luck sir
Did it ever occur to you that you might be drawn to toxic women? The only common denominator with all these women is you. This isn’t to say you’re to blame for these women’s poor behavior, however, you need to figure out why you keep ending up with women like this. I can confidently say most women are not like this.
Focus on conversation, making eye contact and smiling when you do, and just saying hi and starting up a conversation. You never know who you’ll meet. Just gotta try. Dont make it like dating has to be the endgame for all interactions. Take that unwanted pressure off yourself and just have fun with this new way.
They probably were not accidents. Your sentiment is too relatable. Take a break.
I gave up too, while it doesn’t make things better you get used to it 🙂
Noo please don’t. I’m a woman also who’s been feeling pretty sad about all these bad dates and men who scareed me but there is still good ones left. Trust me! There is hope!!!
Listen to Tommy Vu’s magic three little words: *Don’t Give Up*.
I have given up multiple times for long stretches of time and regret it tbh. Do not waste time on this earth. You have *one* life and you don’t know when it will *end*. *Carpe diem*. I’ve wasted too much time personally. Dating doesn’t get easier with age. It gets harder. I know you don’t want to drive to the paint because you’re going to get hacked by the Bad Boy Pistons. No easy lay-ups. But you gotta do it. You’re not going to be happy with comfortable complacency. It sucks when things don’t work out and you see your time, energy and money go seemingly to waste. I get it. Sometimes the best things in life require you to make yourself uncomfortable and have to take the pain and frustration.
I had been avoidant with dating all my life. Until I met my favourite ex. I gave up before I met her. And then all of a sudden I felt like leaving myself vulnerable was the *only* option. I took a 3+ year break after our break up. I regret that. Because it’s 6+ years later and I still have unresolved feelings towards her. Don’t waste time. Time and youth are precious and finite. Don’t tell yourself time heals all wounds. Because that is no guarantee. You have to get out there again and push yourself. You need to be open to finding love again. This isn’t a passive process. Michael Jordan didn’t give up against the Bad Boy Pistons. He took the pain because he was *driven* towards a goal. In his case, to win a chip. That’s why he’s the GOAT
I highly recommend therapy
I have a similar experience as you. For me, lying or exaggerating some stuff was the solution to being attractive.
Lying sells, Truth doesn’t.
…. A woman to take care of you?
Take care of yourself. Women are to be an equal partner with you, not your caretaker.
I’ll always be alone because of my depression I’m always putting myself down…., I’ll never be able to stand up to most people out there…. I’m just a failure 😣🙏🔫 and I can’t wait to be with the ones I’ve lost….
While I disagree with “wanting a woman to take care of me” (I’m self sufficient on my own, thanks), I also sorta quit for a long while. That while turned into 5+ years. Tried OLD resources for a bit, and it was ass so I quit that too. Got other hobbies, and now I more or less don’t care.
None of the women I ever met were interested in me, I quit asking them out after enough rejections. That said, I’m fairly happy on my own and just sorta do my own thing. It’s lonely sometimes, but I tend to keep occupied.
I could say the same about men, but thankfully I’ve realized that I’d not been listening to my intuition and justifying a lot of men’s shitty behavior.
I threw in the towel and decided to start having frivolous encounters. For the first year, I continued encountering shitty men, and still do to some degree, but the experience refined my senses and awareness of what good men actually are like as I came across men in similar situations like you two.
Date. Have fun. Don’t limit yourself. Gain experience/sexperience – but be sexually responsible!!! Be logical. Compartmentalize. Don’t get emotionally sucked in. Be mature and respectful. Above all, learn not to waste your time on women who clearly don’t know what they fuck they’re looking for in a relationship and who don’t treat you well.
Eventually you’ll be able to distinguish between substandard and quality women.
I know it sounds weird, but it’s actually been tremendously helpful for me, and an incredible experience to boot!
Ethically non-monogamous relationships are becoming a thing… and sometimes, you stumble across the right people that’ll enhance your life learning and experiences and help you to become more aware of what you personally want and what you won’t tolerate.
If you’re conventional and more modest and self-controlled, just date as much as you can, and as many as you want without getting sexual. Anyone person being secure in who they are and desiring to expand their horizons in order to narrow down the search for a lifemate will completely understand the process and not view it as a competition, but more as a desire to find someone compatible.
You’ll learn, and it’ll be okay. You guys have a penis that reminds you every morning that you need a partner. You can’t escape it! 😉
Take a break. But don’t give up.
Pack your bags and go overseas, bring your confidence and improved self-esteem.
Good, do cool stuff
Do non-dating activities. Take a break from dating
Get back on after summer! I think girls want a snuggle buddy towards the beginning of winter, and they dump their bf’s for summer. I met my boyfriend in June when i was 17. We are 6 years strong 💕
Well done! These women opened up a can of whoop-ass on you, and it’s to your benefit.
I learned awhile back that nobody can hurt us, they can only reveal the weak points/negative beliefs that we have within ourselves, giving us opportunity to face them and let them go.
You’ve only been coming into contact with these types of women because it’s exactly what you need, to grow.
Once you grow, you may be shocked to find that different kinds of women are coming into your life, some that you never would believe existed…
In the end, our outside experience of reality is a reflection of the things going on deep within us .First change the deep, and then the outside will follow.
From the sounds of it you probably bend over backwards too much for the modern woman. That is absolutely what many seem to want now, but the key is to be somebody who isn’t always a yes man as you get to know them until you see they aren’t just take take take women. Despite how much women seem to date the ultimate pleaser these days they are all still attracted to a guy who keeps some backbone.
I’m so sorry to hear that. Obviously you know there’s kind women out there too. But, of course, we all run the risk to meet the wrong people when dating. You can always change your mind in the future when you’ve healed. For now, enjoy the things you love and the people who love you 🙂
Sometimes stepping away can provide clarity
Same boat
F*** em.
i don’t understand this mindset. like yeah i’m exceedingly lucky to have found the love of my life at 19, but still. how can you just give up on all women after being around too many bad ones? if I can randomly find a girl through mutual narcissistic abuse (we were abused by the same guy and i helped her get away from his abuse) then you can find someone through one of your classes or work or some other random happening. as long as you aren’t trying to find a long-term serious partner through “dating” (hookup) apps then there is hope. just know what to avoid and you’ll find someone
Do you look for red flags when dating or do you go out with anyone who agrees to meet you?? Also it isn’t a woman’s job to “take care of you” that was your mommas job and now it is your job! Women are turned off by men who haven’t learned how to be adults. Dating is hard for both men and women and the type of women you attract is a direct reflection of you. Same goes for women. Take me for example growing up I was surrounded by misogynistic men those were the only types of men I ever knew so fast forward a couple years as a young adult I’d pick misogynistic men because I thought all men were like that and that’s what I was comfortable with because I had no exposure to how real men acted and treated women. So the viscous cycle continued until I noticed the pattern and then dug deep into my past trying to understand why I was attracted to misogynists. I’ve not had a problem ever since because I learned to pick up on the red flags really quickly.
My guy this too shall pass, feelings are trivial they come and they go as quick. Be content in being single it’s ok, you have the rest of your life and you may meet a woman that will make you feel different. I recommend you take this time to concentrate on you and you only. Take sometime to hit the gym, find new hobbies, invest on mentors that display the virtues of the man you dream of becoming. Play less video games, Fap and stop watching porn. You do these things and you might find that you view life in a different light.
Im right there with you. But with men. Take a break maybe? I know i might at this rate
It might be the environment you are surrounded with. I’ve also had guy friends who expressed their hatred for relationships because of cheating women. While my other guy friend is in one of the happiest relationship I’ve ever seen. One of the best ways to find the “right” person for you might be through a friend of a friend or within a trusted community. Whether it be from a book club, or a small circle that have genuinely nice people. If you find people from tinder/bar I suggest to search in a different place.
Lower your standards. Seems to be a common theme.