36 year old. After 20 years of being in a relationship(8 years dating and 12 years of marriage), I feel I defined my self worth with my love for my SO. There was too much pressure on us as we had to deal with a lot of resistance and overcome trauma from family. We have grown together a lot, but now it feels there is no room to grow together. We will be friends but not romantic or sexual partners. Underwent therapy, a few sessions. There are lot of unresolved issues with me that I am working on before I even feel ready to start dating.
I keep on hearing love yourself. I think I knew how to love myself only when I poured my love into someone else. I will try the following
1. Getting fit- I remember how good I felt, I will get back on this and be more consistent
2. Therapy – CBT and CPTSD
3. Friends – opening up to friends did help me
4. De-addiction – I have given up on certain addictions and working on others
5. Side-projects – I work in a place that I don’t enjoy but it pays well, so I am doing side projects that motivates me intellectually
I have also had sex with only one person in my life and I don’t know what is the way forward for me sexually, I am super insecure about my sexual capabilities. I have twisted ideas about love and sex, I am trying to work on that too.
What are some other things I can do for myself to love myself and be a kinder person?
1 comment
1, 2, 4, and 5 all sound great in my opinion.
I didn’t mention your #3 because most friends (unless we’re referring to very close friends of yours) won’t care enough about your problems, in turn why therapy would be best.