My girlfriend and I enjoy spending time together and have similar interests. (Outdoorsy stuff) we are 28. A big difference though is our social lives. I work hard labour full time and have an addiction for trail running. She works part time as a server. I am usually pretty tired and anti social. I just want to hangout at the lake or watch tv after work and running. Most days when I get home it’s let’s gogogo get a drink with this person and go meet up with these people. (Zero consideration for how I feel) I love her but it’s like please let off me. It’s usually the last thing I want to do. I appreciate that she tries to include me but 80 percent of the time I don’t go. It makes me feel like a dork. Based on what other people say I’m good looking and athletic. My insecurities come from not being good at talking to most kinds of people because I don’t know a whole lot outside of my skills. Usually lost for words and really tired. I prefer to hang out with her alone going on hikes and movies and food. She is way more social than me and has a lot of guy friends. One time I came across a recent letter she was writing for her “pen pal” that lived far away. It seemed flirty…thinking about you hugs and kisses kind of stuff. I called her out on it and she said it’s just being friendly. She is super friendly by nature but I said the way she talked to that guy is bs. Then got over it a few days later. Another time she went out for coffee with a guy I know used to like her while I was at work. It didn’t sit well but she was honest about it and didn’t hide it so I didn’t say anything and forgot about it. One day she forgot to close her fb on my computer and my insecurities took over. She went through mine that one time so why not was my excuse. Despite our feelings for each other we’ve both been wronged by someone we trusted in the past and have trust issues to some degree. Not too hardcore but it’s there. So yeah turns out this “pen pal” guy was obsessed with her for a long time before we got together. I noticed the conversation stop around the time I called her out. Some other guy she is friends with says things like I miss you I love you when are you coming down? I really do trust that she hasn’t cheated on me. She goes out of her way to do a lot for me and invites me to everything. One thing is forsure I only trust some of these guy friends. There are others that would hit that so fast if they could. Either she can’t tell the difference or just wants the validation. I avoid friendships with other woman because in my other serious relationship my female friends tried to seduce me and it was very tempting. Makes things feel one sided. How am I suppose to feel totally secure the times when she’s out with her friends at the bar until 1am and I’m at half asleep? I’m confident she hasn’t done shit with these guys but she’s a flirt by nature and idk how to handle it. Sometimes it makes me feel like a clown. Sometimes I’m upset for no good reason.I don’t want to break up with her because there are too many reasons why I like her. And we have worked through a lot already. on the other hand some days she drives me crazy. I wish I knew how to feel at ease and balanced
3 comments
just forget about her dude. it’s better to be lonely than played by the wrong people.
Welp just understand when she gets tired of you being a stick in the mud she will move on quickly and will have someone else very quickly. Enjoy!
You just have to trust her and leave it at that. Your different social needs are going to be a feature of your relationship. However no two people are exactly the same, so there are lots of couples in this situation.