How has your wife’s friends impacted your relationship?

My wife’s ex best friend almost had us divorced until they ended their friendship. Our relationship has been steadily improving since then.

43 comments

  1. Never negative. All her friends are females and all liked me and supported her decision of me.

  2. Both of my Girlfriend’s best friends are single, They call me their “God Husband” because I do all the man stuff for them like sorting their cars or fixing stuff round the house as they don’t have men to do it for them. I don’t mind doing it because they always feed me in return and it keeps them on my side.

    Friends are the ones who pickup the pieces if a relationship goes south, It’s important to not neglect your own friends when you get into a relationship and it’s also important to get on with your partners friends for the same reason.

  3. One of my wife’s friends saw herself as equal standing to me in our relationship. Over stepped so many boundaries. Definitely had a massive negative effect until my wife standing enforcing boundries

  4. We divorced

    I offered her two choices, friend or marriage after her friend openly tried to break us up (encouraged cheating, violence etc.) and her history was that i met her the day of my wife’s dads funeral, when she wanted our house keys to sneak off and cheat

    drove her first husband to suicide, set the next ones car on fire by lighting all his clothes on fire under it, passed a baby off for someone else’s

    Got her away for years then she turned back up just before we got married and my wife was like a puppet to her. She told me that she was terrified she would ruin our wedding (MOH) so would be cutting ties once it was over, my wedding day turned into them two acting like it was them getting married and i was just a prop, she swore through everyone speeches etc.

    I knew the day after we got married i’d fucked it.

    Long shitty story skimmed, both I and my wife’s entre family unit told her to go no contact.

    A month after we married i dropped the marriage ultimatum and she agreed, then i found she kept things going in secret.

    That was it as i don’t back down from ultimatums and she moved in with her friend, 2 months later her friend threw her out on the street after accusing her of sleeping with her husband. (23rd Dec)

    I had to put her back up as the divorce was going through, so she still owned 1/2 the house. Those were the worst three months i’ve ever had

    I learned that you never blame the actions of a friend, I also learned borderlines like to stick together.

  5. My ex-GF broke up with me because her friend told her so, i have not even met that bitch. Apparently she was going through rough patch in relationship and didnt want her friend to have BF neither. My ex is now married and cut ties with her friend

  6. Not my wife’s friend but her sister.

    She wanted to come to India from Canada. She went her home & in 15 days they came in with concocted stories & wanted divorce. We came back to India to start a new life (her words).

    I had zero idea or clue.

  7. My wife is the one which makes friends. Sometimes it turns into useful connections.

    I have not experiences any troubles because of them. I mean, none of them tried to hit on me. Maybe some of them was giving her some bad advises but I have never learned about it.

  8. Not to me personally, but my mother’s 2 best friends were very influential in her choice to divorce my father rather than try and seek solutions.

  9. Not at all.

    I’m pretty open with my wife that I don’t like most of them. There’s a couple that are really nice though.

    In 15+ years, I’ve only heard her say “Emily thinks that you…..” once that I can recall. I just nonchalantly responded “why would I care what Emily thinks about anything going on in our lives?”

  10. They’re her friends, not mine and I rarely see them. It’s never had any impact at all that I’m aware of.

  12. I’m trying to convince her to have a threesome with one of her awesome (girl) friends.

  13. If the actions of your wife’s friend have a negative impact on your marriage, its not the friend in question that you should be blaming. You should be having a closer look at your wife.

  15. Never.

    My wife had an old college friend that was a wreck. One day, this friend tried to tell my wife how wrong I was for her. My wife told her off and never spoke to her again.

  16. If you want to know who a woman is look at her 5 closest friends and there you go…women can put on a good act and make you believe they’re sweet as pie but when they get with the girls and you’re not around they can be a completely different person…I’ve seen the sweetest girls in the world do the nastiest things behind closed doors without there husbands finding out and it happens a lot more then most men think…Those Vegas “girls trips” get pretty wild trust me lol

  17. Women make each other miserable at times. They sugar coat it to make it seem like they love each other.

    When I started dating my now fiancé, I said that I don’t want her hanging out with her single friends (they’d want to go bar hopping and clubbing) or taking advice from married friends in bad relationships.

    I said that if she ever decides to pick a friend’s side over me that I’d prefer to be single.

    She agreed. We also agreed never to speak negative about each other to friends or family.

    I’ve never been so happy.

  18. Its been good, no one has been negative toward me that I know of. I like talking to them because there’s no pretext of interest and we can have conversations like normal people..that just does not happen as frequently when you are single.

  19. Most of my wife’s friends I get on with but one of her oldest friends I won’t even be in the same room with as she’s a shit stirring self obsessed drama queen.

    If she’s in a relationship none of the friend group hear from her if she’s single she expects all the friend group to drop everything to hang out with her like when they were all single. She’s tried to break up a few couples by spreading lies when she couldn’t get a drinking buddy at the drop of a hat cos they other girls had plans.

    They won’t cut her out of the group because “that’s the way she is any we’ve all known each other since primary school”. Wife knows the shit she pulls though so she’s fine with me not wanting anything to do with her but it caused some tension early on

  20. My wife got a friend who’s telling her : « look, your bf will probably break our friend relationship » after she saw him in Holliday.
    I don’t know how I was supposed to take it, but I was a bit mad 🤡
    Now I saw him like 1 time per year, and I’m happy my wife don’t meet him more.
    He’s liking traveling, don’t have gf, and even if he got one, he asks phone number of girls he find cute. If a girl want him, it will be a pleasure 🤡

  22. Ex girlfriend had a few best friends who told her to take a break from me. That happened and it was a huge spiral for our relationship. It definitely didn’t work. Her friends also supported her partying which is where she flirted with other people. Bad shit bro bad shit

  23. My wife doesn’t have real friends in my opinion. Now, her arch nemesis co-workers over the years have lead to some pretty awful times. If my wife get’s upset due to some sort interaction with them, she will let it ruin large stretches of time and take it out on others. There was a year I thought we were going to split, because the only person she ever thought about was her co-worker and all the hate and rage she had towards her. It was endless. We couldn’t even watch a movie together or have a date where she didn’t talk about this person, and then get angry about it. It really felt like there wasn’t space for me in her life anymore, being angry was always more important. It dictated everything.

  24. This is why I’m divorced, marriage counselor said my ex’s best friend was too involved, no boundaries. Next thing you know, we stopped going to couples therapy and served papers on my birthday! Also, her best friend is woman, they call each other wifey and opened a joint savings account, while both still married! Oh, the kicker, the best friend divorced her husband one month after I was served papers. So, whatever that means.

  25. Absolutely, for some reason this woman was monkey branching, and started to get my wife to do things without communicating these things to me. Example, Christmas rolls around, and I give her diamond earrings and about 200.00 in cash. Upon her receiving the money her first words are ” great, now I have more money for my Vegas trip.” I’m like wtf you have never discussed this with me. Never allow toxicity into your relationship.

  26. I’m a woman….

    My ex-best friend did break up myself and my BF briefly.
    My ex-friend believed people should not get divorced for anything other then infidelity. My boyfriend and I are both divorced and he and his ex-wife split due to many reasons but cheating wasn’t one of them. I got divorced because my ex-husband cheated on me with multiple women. So I was ‘ok’ according to her but my bf was a scumbag because ‘you shouldn’t get divorced because you can’t work stuff out’

    It got to the point where my ex-friend looked up my boyfriends ex-wife on social media and started messaging her and telling her a bunch of lies and stirring things up. She also messaged my family and told them I was fucking a married man because in her eyes he wasn’t divorced. It turned into a total shit show and since our relationship was so new he thought it was a sign of drama on my part so he bailed.
    He later came back around and realized it was all her and after about 6 weeks I was able to smooth things over with my family, but his ex-wife still sniffs around. I moved out into my own place (my ex-friend and I lived together) and I refuse to speak to her at all. After I moved out she tried to turn our entire friend group against me saying I only date married guys, blah, blah, blah. Eventually everyone figured it out but that was a long time after I tried to convince them otherwise, so I lost all mutual friends too. All because my ex-friend was still bitter about her divorce.

    My bf and I are still together after many years and I haven’t spoken to any one of those ‘friends’ in forever. We are both very happy but those toxic people had to go full stop.

  27. My wife’s friends like me, I am polite and gracious to me and keep them at arm’s length so they don’t think I’m trying to get fresh. I also end up doing the occasional manly things for the single ones, usually car stuff or a lawnmower that won’t start.

  29. Its caused problems between us.

    Some of her friends were bad influences with not much going on for them. They party/club, would go broke cause of drinking/drugs, complain about no money, then next paycheck do it all over again. Zero prospects. Just working the same old job with no aspirations. It caused arguments cause I felt my SO wasn’t being truthful in everything they were doing and we were going backwards in our relationship. She was basically becoming one of them.

    We’re getting close to 30. I’m trying to get my shit together and needed my SO to be too. I didn’t need to wonder if my SO and friends were up to trouble at like at 2 AM like they were 20 years old.

    Eventually those “friends” started drama and my SO got out of the picture with them. Sure enough a lot of the problems we had started to disappear.

  31. Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future. End of story. Women absolutely despise eachother…..friends included. They dont want their friends to be more happily married than them, wealthier than them, prettier than them……ANYTHING. Most women internally enjoy watching other womens downfall/failures and hardships while they are succeeding. It makes them feel extra special about themselves.

  32. Man! It was not a friend but a sister who she was close too.

    I would buy her flowers every time we had a fight or when ever it was her birthday or something awsome.

    Her sister kept saying I was manipulative and and controlling her.

    She left me soon after for those reasons…. I’m still confused.

    My female friends legit don’t get it too.

    Found out years later, her sister hated me for not introducing myself to her when I first started dating her sister at the mall when she saw me….never met her before in my life until 6months into dating. Lol

  33. All of my wife’s old high-school friends had scumbag husbands who cheated or were alcoholics and are now divorced deadbeat dads.

    I look like a fucking saint by comparison to these dirtbags, so my wife’s friends are actually beneficial to my relationship, because their experiences have made my wife appreciate me more.

  34. They got us together, but most have faded away since she graduated.

    My circle is a little bit smaller due to relocation and attrition, but mostly intact, but they have had relatively little influence. I keep my life heavily compartmentalised.

  36. My girlfriend of 12 years is mainly friends with my friends. She is an introvert who struggles to maintain friendships so she ends up getting along with mine because of activities I or they organise. They all love hanging out with her and her them if her social battery is charged enough. They don’t mind when she doesn’t go to some group even because they know she gets stressed easily. She has 2 friends of her own that I get along with plenty fine too.

  39. The wife and I are both introverted people. We have few friends and don’t see them often. We both prefer it this way, no outside influences on our marriage.

  40. There’s only two friends of hers I’ve ever had problems with and openly told her so.

    The first was an old friend since before I met her. We were 16 at the time so both of us were starting to party etc. But this friend would try to get her to do drugs (which she did once and I told her where I stood on this and so far never again since) but also tried to get her to do topless girls on cars photo shoots with them loser fuckin boy racer dweebs whilst only 16/17 which is underage anyway. She never did and I told her her friend was bad news and their friendship dwindled away thankfully. Still sees her and we’re both friendly to her just never go out of our way. It’s an only in passing sort of friendliness now 17 years later.

    The next was recently. Since being a mom and taking the kids to school she became friends with other moms and dad’s as happens. All have been fine except this loud, boisterous and seemingly single younger mom. Turns out she 26, 3 kids of her own and married. Met her a few times, could tell she was different let’s say 😄 then when I was in the pub one night I come across her and her husband. All had had drinks, but she kept pulling me out of the way, like into hidden corners and parts of the pub to “speak” to me and kept moving if someone come near. Weird. Then begins asking if I’d ever cheated on my wife to be. This felt to me as if she was asking for something to happen between us. I dunno.
    Anyway I never told my wife to be that this had happened, just told her I do not like her and she reminded me of her first friend. This friend is due to go on my girls hen trip to Ibiza. I’ve warned her not to be left alone with her as she may get her in some situations let’s say and maybe in trouble.

  41. Maybe slightly different but when I got with my girlfriend at first, two girls I knew messaged me and said she’s only seeing you to get back at her ex boyfriend. I ignored it and 10 years later those 2 girls are best friends with my girlfriend 😂

  42. There’s a lot of comparison of life style and purchasing power. I’m the only income earner (same with husbands of most of her friends) so these type of comparisons are infinitely frustrating

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