This thought has always been holding me back when it comes to making friends. I am introverted but I don’t really have any issues socializing, the biggest issue is that I have these thoughts that I am just going to appear annoying if I were to show interest. The reason for this is because it seems like barely anyone is willing to show interest or put in effort, it makes me think that if I were to actually give a shit then I would be bothersome to others.
I don’t even talk a lot, I am normally quiet. But If I were to actually talk more to others then I feel like people would just think that I talk a lot. If I actually approach people, then I believe I would be seen as creepy. If I show enthusiasm, then I think people would feel uncomfortable and just walk away.
Obviously not everyone does this, there are other people out there who will return that effort and it’s amazing to experience it too. There’s something so beautiful and pleasant to talk to someone who also shows interest too, it blossoms to an opportunity that this person can be your potential friend.
However, there are also other people out there who get annoyed by the fact that someone shows interest towards them. It really destroys my esteem and leaves me disappointed in people in the end. It is starting to feel like making friends is literally taboo for whatever reason people have in mind.
Is it them that is the issue or is it really me who is doing it wrong? Everyone always says to go out your way to look for friends or show interest, I literally do this but it just doesn’t work at times because people may think “Why does he seem interested in me? It feels weird.”
I want to think that these people are just insecure about themselves but sometimes I feel like maybe I am the one at fault. Perhaps it is wrong for me to put in the effort and instead just wait for a miracle to happen.
1 comment
Not necessarily. Yes you need to put effort and show interest in people. BUT those actions have to be genuine and reflect your self confidence. You cannot come from a place of anxiety and desperation. You cannot do those things for the sole purpose of seeking approval, attention, reassurance, or validation of others; that’s when it gets a little too needy or weird. Also, it becomes needy or weird when others are clearly not reciprocating your energy and you still decide to put more effort. That’s chasing, and when you chase, people run. So you have to know when to stop pursuing somebody who has shown they aren’t interested in you and be able to move on. Chase excellence, not people.