Hello everyone, I’m a 20 yo guy and have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 4 years now, and everything is going great actually.
So first of all, I promise I’m not a troll or I’m trying to joke or whatever.
So, like 2 weeks ago me and my girlfriend were having sex, I was behind her and so I had a look on her whole room. At a certain point my eyes fell on a picture of her, when she was like 12yo (it was a picture with her parents). I had seen this picture like 1000 times already obviously, but because my eyes fell on it while having sex it was a huge turn off. At that time I just instantly switched my mind and all was good.
But like, the past couple of times we had sex, I just have these intrusive thoughts of that exact picture, it’s totally not sexual or whatever, it’s just a fraction of a second that that picture pops up. It’s really annoying, and making me feel very gross, that’s not a “view” you want during sex. I know why it happens, because everytime we are like “fooling around”, I am like: “don’t think of it” and because I don’t want to think of it…. I **do** think of it.
I know these are just stupid intrusive thoughts, but it’s making me to the point that I am not relaxed during sex. last time I even had to tell her that “I had a sudden headache”, because I didn’t feel comfortable.
I want to tell her the truth, but it’s just something so stupid and weird. How should I do this? Will this go away or should I go to the doctor for like mind-calming pills or whatever?
3 comments
This happens to me (28f) as well sometimes with different things and I definitely agree it’s super annoying! I would suggest talking with your gf about it, you’ve been together 4 years so don’t be afraid to talk about something like that. Whenever this happens to me i just tell my husband (29m) (we’ve been together a total of about 5 years) and he always makes me feel better. And like you said it just happens right in the middle of having fun and suddenly all you can think about is NOT thinking about it which makes you think about it more 😣 and when you arent having fun anymore your gf can probably tell and if she notices this she might think its something worse than it is. Just talk to her and she can help 🙂 good luck!
Haha bro sometimes I can get turned off easily as well. Nothing to be ashamed of.
This is an intrusive thought, as you said. I actually don’t think you need to discuss it with your girlfriend, just because confessing can sometimes be a common compulsion that goes along with intrusive thoughts. The way to get rid of this thought is to simply not engage with it. When it comes up, tell yourself, ‘Yep, this thought again. Alright.’ and start to distance your emotions from it. Do not try to make yourself not think of it. Just accept that it may come and go, and that it doesn’t mean anything. The more you react to it, the stronger it will come back. Consider looking into resources related to OCD. (specifically pure O)