For background, over a year a ago I (21F) was blindsided and got my heart broken. I have a hard time trusting people because the person I thought could never hurt me, did. He just “fell out of love” after 2+ yrs.
Anyways, fast forward to now. I got into a new relationship (it’s been 3 months) and we’ve been friends for 7+ months before dating. He (26 M) honestly is my best friend and a majority of our dating relationship has also been LDR. I think I was 1. Hurt and still healing from my past relationship and well 2. Hesitant to start a new relationship knowing 6/12 months we would be in a LDR. Which is why I probably didn’t date him sooner but I’ve always been fond of him since the night our mutual friends introduced us.
The only hesitation I’m having with this particular relationship is that about 2 months ago he confessed he had unprotected sex with another woman. I just want to preface by saying he slept with this person prior to our relationship!! He never cheated. What makes me feel uneasy is that he chose to speak to me about this matter after he left for this work trip (so a month into our relationship later) and asked if I could get tested to make sure I was okay ( I am).
Right before our relationship started he and I had unprotected sex frequently. So to hear that he was having sex with another woman yes it was heart breaking but more so I was upset that he kept this information to himself and endangered my health in the process. He said he honestly didn’t know how to bring it up but he knew he had to so when we started dating. I also noticed he took initiative of using condoms when we started dating. Didn’t think much of it but when I questioned it when he told me about the other woman he did confess he started to wear condoms for my safety.
He got tested as well and he’s ok thankfully. I’m planning to go visit him in 2 days since he’s left for his work trip. Today, he called me to let me know of his results. Part of me was relieved he is okay because I do care and have love for him but also it brings up a very painful memory/sensation of being lied too and taken advantage of.
TLDR: is my boyfriend’s actions a constant reminder/sign to break up or am I self sabotaging due to past relationship traumas?
1 comment
Yes you’re self sabotaging yourself. Try and relax the man didn’t lie because he came out and told you. Unprotected sex doesn’t automatically mean disease, just like how protected sex doesn’t mean no diseases. He gave you his sexual history so you know which is a good thing. Nothing to worry about as of now you have a decent man don’t let your past ruin your now, he’s a new man deserves to be treated as such