In my last relationship the last 2 years my ex was on a certain medical treatment and we didn’t need to use condoms. I’ve gotten used to not using them.
In my current relationship I won’t ask my gf to use any pills etc. I know how unhealty they are, but I am just not able to finish with condoms. I love the intimacy, I love her reactions but not being able to finish disturbs me. It is stressful. I was thinking about maybe changing the condoms that I am using but I also have a very average penis, length its somewhere between 5.5-6″ and the girth is 5.5″ so I don’t think I need something other than a normal sized condom. But I just feel like my penis is suffocating in it, I don’t feel if I am fully erect even though I am, I am not feeling my penis properly. The condom’s bottom part(ring) feels to tight, could it be that my penis is too short and since I can’t completely roll it down it ends up being tighter than it is supposed to be? I stopped masturbating to see if that would help. I don’t exactly care about finishing so I am not actively thinking about it, the build up just never happens.
I am desperate for advice. Thank you all.
39 comments
can you finish from a handjob or blowjob? did you forget that non-penetrative forms of sex exist? you don’t need a condom for those if you’re both clean.
Try different brands and it’s totally mental. I had an ex that “couldn’t use condoms”. I got pregnant, had an abortion and magically whatever mental thing he had he got over really quickly
I’m a girl so my advice is limited, but defo try different brands! I know my ex’s have had very different results from different brands.
Also maybe try masturbating with one on? Even briefly just to get used to wearing it again
Dude, get a vasectomy. Greatest minor surgery ever!!!
there are condoms that are designed to feel like your wearing nothing at all these could help,
some have different diameters not just lengths this could be beneficial for the tightness sensation,
try a dollop of additional lube plain or sensation producing inside the condom can assist with overall sensation
I know it’s “mental” and you can try different brands yada yada. But unfortunately after 5 years of not using them, and a solid year of trying to get used to them, I just can’t. Handjobs, blowjobs, and pullout are pretty much my only options.
Human brains get set in their patterns. You need to power through and retrain your brain.
Higher quality condoms that are “thinner” (typically labled something about ultimate sensation etc) might help.
Your penis is almost exactly the average size. Condom manufacturers know that better than anyone. The condom should be fine. Try unrolling a bit more before slipping it on. The tightness of the ring should act like a cock ring and help maintain your erection.
You could also try a cock ring.
Sadly, some men need extra sensation due to fewer(or damaged) nerve endings. If you suspect a problem like that, see your doctor
There is also the option of trying a female condom. A learning curve but could be a better solution all around.
1.) You’re not too short. Condoms are (almost obscenely) long by design.
2.) I’m going to suggest Skyn Elites. They’re a lil pricy, but they’re as thin as you can get without going for pricier online brands.
Had an ex who used only the “lamb skin” type. Worked for him. It’s been a decade so I don’t even know how these are today
I have used these super thin ones and honestly I can’t tell difference if the condom is on or not. One time it slipped off and I finished inside of her, after she got off form me i only saw then that condom was missing. And I was like wtf!!! because I didn’t felt that it come off nor I felt difference between with condom and without.
Polyurethane Condoms.
Option 2: Get Vasectomy, bye bye condoms, bye bye kids. (there is a reversible one)
Option 3: Try Withdrawal, but be prepared as if it fails, then bye bye life.
Option 4: Finish in her mouth
Option 5: Try other holes
Option 6: Only date girls who are already on the pill.
Check out the skyn brand, they’re thinner and allow you to feel more sensation
But have you spoken about birth control with her at all? Pills aren’t unhealthy, for some the side effects are bad for some they aren’t. And there’s other kinds too, that are even more effective, like an IUD or an implant. If you’re planning on staying with this girl and see yourself having a future with her (kids too and all that) why not at least bring it up? I have an implant that is absolutely awesome. Love going raw with my boyfriend, in my eyes it’s worth it. Of course it is up to her and it would be best for her to talk to her doctor about it. Everyone else has given plenty condom advice I see and I wouldn’t have any tips on that myself anyways.
Skyn elite condoms are great. They also have a larger size. My partner and I have been using them for years.
If you would like to go without a condom sometimes you could ask her to consider r/FAMnNFP.
Vasectomies aren’t guaranteed to be reversible. The more time that passes, it becomes less likely, plus it’s not usually covered by insurance and is pricey. Consider that option permanent. Some people on here seem to be quick to recommend it.
Put a bit of water based lube inside the condom first
You dick likes a wet hole, not a dry rubber hole
My partners all prefer Skyn brand condoms. They’re polyisoprene instead of latex and transmit more sensation. I still get moans and good noises when blowing partners through these condoms.
They’re a little pricier, but seem worth it.
You could also try different sizes. If it’s too tight at the base, it could be effectively acting like a cock ring. Try sizing up to have it be more comfortable!
This is usual a psychological, more than a physical, thing. Maybe go for some sex therapy, or just try to relax and let it flow during sex. You’re likely pressurinh yourself to not lose the erection when you put the condom on and it’s creating a self-fulfilling profecy
Been in the same situation after not using condoms for almost 4 years, my best advice: get used to it.
You have to learn your dick to get more sensitive, it takes time but i’ll get back. I think it took me a few months before I could get a great feeling.
Also find condoms suitable for your dick, they should not strangle it
They suck, but needed
I think some (at least) modern pills are healthy. My gf uses them after consulting with her doc. There are some restrictions (in the summer she’ll take a break) and you have to do some tests from time to time but it beats using condoms 100% of the time.
You might need larger condoms – the sizes are meaningless, google around and try to find the actual sizes in CM. I used to feel the same. Nothing seemed “large,” because we think of porn and societal imprint on what “large,” means. Just like a penis pump your penis will swell a bit from the continued excitement, friction, etc. If yours is tight it can even lead to the actual penis ring effect of further engorgement, like a finger that swells around a wedding ring.
One time we were in Canada on vacation and they had the actual size on them and I bought a “large” and it was like an actual lightbulb going off holy shit moment. It wasn’t loose like a saggy glove like I’d feared, it just… fit.
Honestly try magnums (they’re not that much bigger it’s just an ego thing)
Also Trojan bareskin are marginally bigger than the standard ones (and the magnum bareskin slightly bigger than the standard magnum)
You say you’re average but that’s pretty girthy dude
As always, this thread is full of terrible information. It’s not just “mental”, condoms greatly reduce sensation. Sure different brands might help, but none of them are going to recreate the sensation of no condom. Sexual fulfillment is important. Talk to your partner. Tell them you are not sexually fulfilled with condom PIV. Together figure out an alternative. This might be oral sex or another form of birth control or some other way to help you achieve orgasm. If they are not on board, this relationship has more issues than just condoms.
Are you putting any lube inside the condom? I always put a dab of water based lube in the end, roll the condom on, and work the lube around so it’s on about the last third of my cock. Then the condom slides over the most sensitive part, and it feels pretty good.
The silicone lube that comes on most condoms is too thick for this to work, but on the other hand you don’t want the water based to go all the way down the shaft because it might cause it to slip off. So it’s a bit of a balancing act. Hope this helps!
100% try Trojan DOUBLE ecstasy. Super lubed up inside and out. Plus not too tight around the base
Different brands make a significant difference. I get a Durex mixed pack, one of the brands is a thin/skin-tight variant (has teal coloring for the marketing) and that feels almost as good as no condom.
I had a similar issue and for me different condoms made the difference, alongside stopping masturbating for a month. Skyn was the one that worked for me.
It’s not difficult, get hard, put on condom, insert into intended target, thrust vigorously… Or not… Climax… Procedure completed… Sleep
Edit: just kidding.
If you’re 5.5 inches in girth you’ll need larger fitting condoms, length is irrelevant
You are well above average girth-wise and you require magnums. Standard size are too tight for you and are killing the sensation. This tool can calculate your size and find you the best fitting brands for you:
https://calcsd.info/full.html
Different brand, lube.
Buy skyns! As close to no condom as you can get!
you wont like to hear that right now but it does get better over time. Sensation comes back. It will take months tho, sorry.
Alright let the condom-lympics begin! This one involves a blindfold on You of course while your lovely lady has some fun!! Essentially just buy a fuck ton of them from sizes to brands to thickness to flavors. Frustrations are building up so make a day of it. All this happens after you have a convo with her obv don’t press her nor coerce her but you can elaborate on the different feelings. Come from a stance of you want to increase your sensitivity in consume so you can ~feel~ all of her even with one. May the best condom win.
Seriously, try SKYN Magnums. I’m a bit longer but same girth and your girth is where most condoms are restrictive.
Me and my ex switched back to condoms for a while and we made it new and fun by ordering a variety box and just fucking our way through it to see what we enjoyed the most. It made it almost like a fun ritual of discovery
If you’re like me, you were fed some bullshit lie that all condoms will fit. I learned later on that fit and fit nicely are two very different things. I always felt like my dick was being squeezed uncomfortably, I’d lose erections and sex felt meh. But when I tried a Magnum sized condom on it was a game changer, I’d suggest the same to you, also put some lube inside and outside the condom.
Also you’d be considered big girth wise. Check out
https://calcsd.info/ and feel good about yourself, also it’ll recommend condoms.
I’m a tad longer not quite as thick. I used undersized ones for years because I never thought I was big. the normal condom it’s just a bit too snug I found. Skyn elite is great and their larger size is fantastic. If you’re circumcised and have a bit of a disproportionately larger head like I do ry the magnum bareskin is awesome because he the base is similar but there’s literally more head room. Give some a try! Condoms have come a long ways!