22F virgin. I have a high sex drive, I masturbate regularly and watch porn sometimes, but I only like clitoral stimulation. My sexual fantasies and the porn I watch involve foreplay, making out, oral (giving and receiving), fingering, nipple play, a lot of kink like bondage, petplay, pegging, etc, but the second vaginal penetration is involved it kills the mood and turns me off. I am bisexual and I don’t like the idea of being penetrated or penetrating someone else vaginally. I bought a dildo to experiment and see if I could learn to like it, but when it’s inside it just feels uncomfortable or like nothing and it makes my clitoris go numb so I can’t orgasm at all. I have never been in a relationship because I know most people would want penetration and that disturbs me. I thought about dating asexual people, but I think the other things I’m into would be too much for them. Is there anyone else like this? I haven’t heard of it before.
11 comments
Some of the kinks you listed have a strong role reversal component. Pegging being the most obvious. How do you feel about anal penetration in a potential relationship? Things like strapons or packers?
Stone Top is an established sexual identity.
A stone top refers to someone who only likes to “give” during sex/coitus/intercourse. This term is typically used in regard to a queer person or a lesbian. A stone top is considered the opposite of a pillow princess.
This doesn’t sound exactly like what you describe, but… it’s a good example of people having fulfilling romantic and sexual lives without penetration.
Sex is what you make it. Have fun!
Have you penetrated yourself? Is it painful or uncomfortable? Do you feel any pleasure from it?
Just trying to understand where you are coming from before I answer
I am a man, and i am turned off by penetration, too. It seems totally unsexual to me. I would never come up with the idea to penetrate someone with my penis. Its like getting served my favourit meal, but instead of tasting, smelling and eating it, i push my penis into it! That feels totally absurd.
Some people just dont have the urge for penetration. And its hard to understand the other side.
But i think there are more women who dont like penetration then men, because men are always tought that a penis is made for penetration only.
Just dont give up, its hard to find someone, but there are guys who dont need it.
Go date an asexual woman/man maybe?
I haven’t gotten to do vaginal penetration with my wife since 2018, for medical reasons she’s still working on. Do I miss it? Sometimes. So does she. But I’ve learned to do without it and enjoy giving and receiving oral, getting handjobs, giving pussy massage, and mutual masturbation. If you don’t want to be penetrated, that’s perfectly valid. If you’re with somebody who can’t deal with that, that’s *their* problem.
i’m a 23f and i’m pretty much the same way. open to trying vaginal penetration with the right person but i’m mostly just anxious about it and would prefer to do other things. ur not alone <3
There are a couple of aspects to this.
You obviously like sex (in the broad sense) – or at least the idea of it. Find someone with similar likes. I don’t need to give someone a vaginal fuck and would have been more than fine with your fantasies.
The other aspect… Many women experience vaginal pain during intercourse and it is VERY often due to emotional / psychological trauma. Get some help. If that’s ultimately not the cause, find a doc to help you through it.
I’m a gay man, so maybe my experience doesn’t help you much, but I’ve never been into penetration of any kind. Receiving, giving, just like you said – not even the thought of it excites me. I’m very much into sex though. As someone wrote here, sex is what you make it. Mother Nature gave us hands and tounges and all the other body parts for a reason, lol.
It might limit your dating pool, but honestly – after I found sex-positive people to date, it wasn’t as much of a problem as I expected it to be. Sex is all about the enthusiasm you bring into it, anyway, at least in my experience. Be open about your needs and wants, and I’m sure you’ll find someone who you vibe with.
There’s no “normal” in the world of sex. Our preferences are as different as our personalities. But you mentioned you watch porn. If I were you I would stop watching all porn as it can probably change our perception of sex. Stop using porn for a few months and you’ll get a clearer picture of what you actually want in a partner.
First, I’m not about to imply or say that something is ‘wrong’. However, to rule it out, whether it’s physical or psychological, for starters, consult a female OB/GYN. And if there’s isn’t any anatomical or hormonal issue, ask her to refer you to a therapist who’s experienced in sexual issues. To an outsider, it can sound like sexual trauma, though that might not be the case. You might be perfectly healthy, emotionally and physically. It’s your life and you want to be able to find joy and pleasure in it, whatever that looks like.