(F/26) It’s pathetic, I know. But I’m awful. I have confidence in public. When people are around, I’m not scared to be flirty, if the drinks are flowing and I’m feeling good, I’ll make innuendos and tease the dude I’m talking to. It’s all fun and flirty.
Then, the moment of being alone happens, and it gets serious to actually do shit, and I choke. But I WANT to do it. Just a few nights ago, this happened entirely and I actually ran away from the dude to back outside where people were. RAN YALL. I was so embarrassed. Totally feel like I missed my shot, and the dude’s interest in me nose-dived after. I feel awful, but for whatever reason, I can’t handle my nerves. I’ve been in a long term relationship before and love physicality, but after the failure of that, I’m so nervous to be alone with anyone I’m interested in. It’s been three years since I have touched, hell even kissed a man.
Im going to continue to aggravate and push guys away if I don’t stop, but I don’t know how to get over this.
2 comments
Oh man, I can relate!! That was me when I first started dating. When I met my ex husband, we’d been hanging out for awhile and I thought he maybe wanted to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me. I hinted very heavily that he SHOULD kiss me. So he moved in, and I…. ducked. Literally DUCKED. Dude kissed the back of his couch. 🤦♀️ If it makes you feel better though, I was able to get married (even though it didn’t work out) and have missed multiple men since then! 🤣🤣🤣 It’s been a long time since I was in that place, so I forget exactly how I dealt with it, but my advice is baby steps. Be upfront with men you’re interested in that you ARE interested in a sexual relationship, but you have some anxiety and need to go slow. Any dude who can’t show you patience and compassion is NOT your dude.
Therapy? I mean if you constantly want the affection of a man but actively avoid it, I think that means something isn’t connecting mentally