My bf and I have been together for almost 2 years. We both only had sex once with other people prior to our relationship. He has more intense fantasies/kinks and I’m mostly into praise and getting him off so I wanted to try and delve into those fantasies. Problem is I’m extremely shy and self conscious. This is my first real relationship and it’s still kind of nerve wracking.
We had recently gotten into a discussion/argument when I discovered a ton of saved porn on his phone. He had admitted that he was interested in stuff but didn’t want to make me uncomfortable. We worked things out and I asked if he’d be willing to try those things that he was interested in and he said yes. I’m more than willing to try, I’m open to anything in the bedroom at some point. But I’m afraid I lack the confidence to be able to pull this stuff off.
He’s into some things like feet, woman-dominance and pegging. I knew what he liked fairly early on but I don’t mind cause I truly love him. We’ve already done stuff with feet, and I’ve been planning on ordering something like a strap on and a prostate massager. But I don’t want my shyness and inexperience to hold me back in trying new things. Any advice to be more confident when experimenting like this?
3 comments
Back when I was with my ex, I actually tried pegging for the first time. And trust me I was also super shy and nervous about it cause sexually I tend to be submissive so suddenly putting me in a role that gave me power freaked me out a bit. We of course talked about it first cause I wasn’t too familiar with it but I wanted to try it for him cause I knew he would like it. And at first I was worried I was hurting him but he assured I was doing good and gave me little words of encouragement to keep me going. Eventually just seeing him feeling good was bringing down the feelings of anxiety. I’m still not that into pegging but I’m willing to do it for my partner’s pleasure.
You just have to try it to know if you like it or not. Just make sure that you establish your safewords so the moment either of you are uncomfortable, it’s perfectly okay.
Girl you better own him ! Step into your feminine power !!! *heart emojis *
Trust. That’s the main thing.
This guy trusts you to do these things with. You’ve gotta trust he won’t shame you or embarrass you or whatever you’re scared of.
You’re not gonna hit the nail right on the head the first time. It might not work out quite so well but it’s a learning experience and you can laugh it off, together. Later on you’ll think “wow we were so inexperienced, that time I tried this and that, sounded so weird” etc.
Trust that these weird and awkward things are not cause for overthinking or embarrassment. Confidence cannot be there the first few times because you’ve no experience to be confident in your abilities.
But he’s with you now and understands that you’re not too confident and a bit shy, he know this and he’s still with you willing to try. So try. Don’t think of anything as a failed attempt, just a learning experience.