First real intimate contact:
We just had our 4th date, celebrated each other’s birthdays by creative personal gifts because we had our birthdays just one day apart from each other. On the 4th date i confessed to her through the birthday letter i gave her, how much i liked her. I cringed hard AF, i such a cringe lord jesus christ, but we got closer than never before, not the banana in the orange thing, but close.
Feeling like i am not enough for her/a relationship:
It’s just i never made her laugh really hard, so really much. Like if you just hang out with friends, nothing more than friends, you can have the most fun by talking about random shit or random things and laugh for days. Yes, no… it never really happened with her, so i feel like i am not contributing enough because of my bad and boring humor. Like she laughed more when the next day we went to eat breakfast with their parents.
Questioning why she still likes and wants me even because of my flaws in communication:
Like jesus Christ why does she even want to still be with me and miss me? Because of my body and looks? Nah that wouldn’t be it, would it? Or because i made her fall in love with me because of how I Text? We both write paragraphs to each other and get along really well, but when it comes to real life im struggling to even Form correct sentences, because i am like stunned with talking, my brain doesn’t work fast enough, it needs time, texting gives me unlimited time. Real life interaction is supposed to be delivered almost instantly.
7 comments
Everything I read was you just putting yourself down over and over. You arent writing about what other people are telling you, the only thing you are writing is the shitty things you are telling yourself about yourself
If you had a friend and they said all this shit yo you, theyd be a terrible friend, right? Well someone is telling you these things. You. Examine why you are so mean to yourself
The self sabotage is going crazy
You’re overthinking it way too much. Just keep doing what you’re doing.
Relax on yourself bro. She’s sticking around, agreed to 4 dates with you. Enjoy her while you can bc of you keep up THIS mentality of yours, SHE WILL LEAVE.
You’re way overthinking it bro. I’m pretty sure every guy has gone through this with at least one girl in their life where we become infatuated very quickly. It causes us to try and change our personality’s and do nothing but impress them. Just try to relax and be yourself my man.
I have been with my dude for a decade and I *still* don’t think he’s funny. He thinks he’s hilarious, but his humor actually annoys the living crap out of me! But I love him. I want to spend time with him and go through life with him. We actually have to put in effort to choose things we both really enjoy sometimes, but that effort is priceless.
I feel this way about myself too. It’s hard when thinking this way is just so ingrained & seems obvious & makes sense but we give others so much grace that we don’t allow ourselves. It’s confusing, isn’t it? 😑😢 But it’s nice that you have someone you like choosing you, I don’t have that.