I was at Target today and I tried to make small talk by asking the cashier how her day was going. She said “It’s okay” and I couldn’t think of what to respond. At the end of the transaction I told her “I hope your day gets better” and she gave me a weird look. I don’t know if what I said was inappropriate, I felt so embarrassed afterwards. Should I have not said anything?
13 comments
I don’t think what you said was wrong at all. You were just being polite.
It’s valid but also weird. When people respond with short answers, as well as don’t ask you back in greeting then they usually aren’t in the mood for small talk.
“Its okay” doesnt mean its going bad. She said its going fine and doesnt want to talk about it more
she’s earning minimum wage, or below
I know some people will try to sugar code things on here, but let me be blunt:
first off good job on going out of your comfort zone, you’re on the right path! Second of all if she gave u a weird look 9/10 u did something to cause that reaction. It was either your vibe, meaning u were awkward or the comment itself which didn’t fit at all considering she said her day was already going ok. On top of all this realize that cash register people don’t get these type of questions very often so she might have been thrown off a little from her mindless routine of doing a repetitive job.
Don’t get discouraged by this though, rejection or perceived reception is part of being a human being. Everyone has awkward moments, you do. I do, LeBron James does.. don’t worry and keep putting yourself out there with minor adjustments every other day
A lot of cash register workers get thrown off if you’re nice to them, or even just polite enough to ask how theyre doing, because people aren’t usually as nice
Good work on making small talk, but she probably was just confused by the interaction as she would get small talked all day as a cashier. She just wasn’t aware of what your response meant.
Just a theory but the only times anyone has told me they hope my day gets better is if I tell them I’m having a bad one or if I tell them specific bad things that have happened. So if all I I tell you is that my day is ok/alright and you say that, I’d personally be thrown off. I’d be thinking “Huh? What’d I say that indicated it was that bad that I need pity (lol) and for you to hope that for me”. But again, it’s be more of a confused/thrown off feeling as opposed to being offended or anything so maybe that’s how the cashier was feeling.
What’s the sugar code?
It implied that she was having a bad day. It sounds like she was confused as to why you sounded liked you assumed that. It might have annoyed her because she thought you were wanting her to smile ear to ear like an enthusiastic cheerleader to convey that she’s happy. Maybe that’s how she took it even if it’s not how you meant it.
I think the problem is the scenario itself. You’re in an environment which is fast moving for the cashier, they see a lot of people in a short amount of time, the communication is base level. The level of trust is really low. And it comes out of nowhere. So im not surprised by the way the cashier reacted. What I would do instead is, either ask in a more casual way for example „how’s it going?“ which is more light hearted and easier to retract from, and be on the move, don’t destroy the flow of the persons work, keep it uptempo and casual so it feels more natural.
Its of course easier to do it in a slower environment, for example the gas station, small stores and so on. Last week it got pretty hot here in Germany so I stopped by at the convenience store to buy something to drink, the owner was sitting at his small table and was drinking a tea, I went in looked his way and asked him „how’s it going?“ without stopping what I was doing, buying water. At the cash register he asked me if I was Turkish and from which city I was from, so we talked like for a minute, and I moved on.
Good luck
the underlying assumption is that her day is bad hence it needs to get better, but she didn’t think her day was bad
Next time, at the end of the transaction I’d just say, “Thank you!” Or “Have a nice day!”. I worked as a cashier and if anyone was nice to me and said the last two things, I’d smile or wish them a good day as well. Like others said, “It’s okay” just means it’s going alright – not that it’s bad. Good luck next time!