Me (27 F) and my partner (27 M) have been together for just shy of 3 years now. Things have been really rocky for about a year of that, for multiple reasons, but I’m seeking advice on him getting a new job behind my back.
Sense we’ve been together, he’s had 8 different jobs, so we’ve struggled a lot financially.
He decided to go apply for a job with a relative of his after we had multiple conversations about him not applying. The reason being is because he would be gone basically all the time and never be able to see his family anymore.
I had told him that I was scared of being a single parent, but still in a relationship, as in, me being the only one to raise the kids while he’s gone all the time. He basically told me that I’d have to get over it because we need money.
He lied to me and kept it a secret that he’d applied to this job, and even told me he was going to “ go run errands” when in reality, he was going to the interview in secret. I feel like he’s completely disregarded my feelings and anxiety with this. I don’t think I want to be with someone who doesn’t care about how I feel.
TL;DR; : Am I overreacting to him going behind my back and getting this job after he told me multiple times that he wouldn’t do it?
1 comment
>so we’ve struggled a lot financially.
So is he right? Do you need the money? What were the alternative job options? What were his reasons as to why he preferred this job over those other options?
My advice depends on how much you’ve talked about this calmly, without arguing your side but instead asking him for his reasons/feelings about the issue. If his reasons are all unreasonable, I’ll have a very different answer than if he has a valid point of view.