I’m a 33 (M). I date pretty frequently, mostly use apps. I started dating a girl toward the end of November and it looked like things were promising but end of January we broke up. We had some tough discussions one night. I wanted to make things work but she ended it. She had previously told me she had a tendency to run. In the weeks prior she told me she was looking for red flags but couldn’t find any. She couldn’t believe no one had snagged me up. What’s followed that relationship has been dates with a couple different girls. One ended up moving a few hours away so that was poor timing. Most recently I went on three dates with a girl I met on Hinge. I wasn’t sure about her after two dates but gave it another try. We kissed at the end of the third date. I suggested hanging out again and she told me I seemed like a great guy but the spark wasn’t there for her. Honestly I feel the same. The only one I felt the “spark” with was the girl who broke up with me in January. Outside of all this I stay active, I do things I enjoy, etc. The longer this goes on I bounce between maybe I just need to focus on what I enjoy in life, use the apps less, and I’ll meet the right one organically or I should reach out to the girl I dated earlier in the year. There’s multiple times I type out a text to her and I can’t bring myself to hit send.
TL;DR Am I going about things right?
6 comments
Yup 👍 focus on what you enjoy, just send a txt saying hey how you doing and go do things you enjoy, that’s what life is about.the universe will reward you now you’ve learnt this important lesson.
No
Do you want her to run again?
I would NOT reach out to the woman you broke up with. Sounds like she’s dealing with some baggage or something that makes her not a very healthy partner right now. What you’re dealing with now – string of people that you only go out with a few times – is REALLY NORMAL between relationships. In fact, it’s something I’ve experienced EVERY TIME I’ve been between relationships. I don’t think you need to STOP using apps, but for sure you should keep getting out and doing the things you enjoy. Maybe you WILL meet the right one organically, or maybe you’ll find the right one on a dating app. Hang in there, and don’t overthink it.
Oh shit. I hate the tendency to run. I’ve heard that one and she sure as shit ran. Like why? She basically let me know she was gonna bail on me. Never again.
Seems something is in the air…..my friend who caught his girl cheating (she forgot that he had access to the security system because he was going to move in to her house) had his old ex reach out to him and basically confessed that she has not had that spark with anyone else since they split……maybe you should reach out and see if something is there. If not, roll on and let go.