My (25F) BF (almost 25,M) is going on a 3 week long trip with his buddies to Nepal. They’re planning on a fun but challenging adventure in which they track through the jungle with limited recourses and then walk all the way to the base camp of the Everest.
We’ve been together for almost 2 years, and are moving in together before he leaves. I love him more than anything, he’s my life partner and an incredible boyfriend and I want him to be happy.
I don’t mind him going without me (as I’m reconverting from a surgery and don’t really like the types of nature trips anyway) and I of course trust him and know he is loyal to me as I’m to him.
But I’m A) scared for his safety, trying not to show it so I don’t bum him out, but I’m really afraid something will happen to them and they’re in the middle of nowhere and all, and
B) Going to miss him so so so much and know I’ll be sad and might feel lonely in our new apartment all on my own.
It’s really important for me to be supportive of him, I know he’s really excited for this adventure with his friends and in general I just want him happy.
What do I do? How do I express my fears (or maybe I shouldn’t) and how do we get through this period of time the best way?
Thanks guys
TL;DR:
My BF is going on a 3 week trip with friends, how do I make this period of time easy for us as a couple?
3 comments
You missing him is the easy part. So questions about that: will he be able to call you during his trip? Will he have mobile reception or pass through local communities to connect through local means?
You can set checkpoints during the trip where he could contact you via email/phone or whatever.
About his safety: will his group have a local guide in the jungle? Do the members have any prior survival experiences? Do they know how to operate offline navigation means? Do they have first aid training and proper equipment?
Or did they just watch documentaries on how to do it and have their excitement as preparation?
Unless there is an avalanche at the camp he will be fine on the BC Trek. It’s a massive tourist route with multiple professional teams. He might get altitude sickness, a broken ankle, or step in Yak poo, but nothing worse than that.
It’s totally normal to be nervous about a trip like this, and it sounds like you are mostly excited for him. These conflicting feelings can exist in us at the same time because humans are complex.
I’m not sure if telling him “hey I’m really excited for you but I have to be honest that there’s a part of me that’s nervous, but I trust you to make sound calls” will be helpful because I don’t know him! But if you think he will take that in the spirit of openness and honesty like you intend it may go a long way to calming your nerves. I’d make it clear to him that you aren’t sharing this to make him feel shitty or to get him to change his trip. If you’re concerned this will dampen his mood then talk to a friend just to get it off your chest.
As far as missing him, can you invite friends over or plan something for yourself? I saw you’re recovering from ankle surgery so I don’t know what your mobility issues are but having people come to you or doing something low impact outside the apartment might help you not obsess.