“Talk to your friends’ friends”; “Talk to your classmates”; “Join clubs in your school or after classes ones”; “Talk to people at lunch”
Great, I have literally no friends so there’s not “friends’ friends”, literally all my classmates hates me because someone I used to be “friend” with decided to ditch me and make sure nobody goes near me once they became “a cool kid”, my school doesn’t have clubs and I can’t afford (both in term of time and money) any “after school” ones, and people at lunch refuse to talk, or when they do, what they’re talking about is usually.. making me lose faith in humanity, to say the least.
How am I even supposed to make friends ? It feels like straight up impossible. I also want to add: I’m very bad at getting socials cues and really struggle to make eye contact, I absolutely hate it.
9 comments
I found this for you. Do you think it can help you?
***Need New Friends? Don’t Know How to Make Them?***
***6 ways to make new friends in any situation.***
***1. First, recognize that it’s normal and even healthy to want to make new friends at different times in your life.***
Making new connections does not have to mean that you are being disloyal to your old friends. There’s an old folk song that goes, “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.” Maintaining important relationships might not always be easy, and your new friends might not be easily integrated into your old circle, but most of us manage many different groups of relationships anyway—family, school, work, church, synagogue, or mosque are just some of the multiple communities you may already be balancing.
***2. If it’s not easy for you to make new connections, don’t give up right away.***
And don’t beat up on yourself! Making new friends gets even more difficult for many of us as we move through the next stages of life. As a New York Times article put it, “As people approach midlife, the days of youthful exploration, when life felt like one big blind date, are fading. Schedules compress, priorities change, and people often become pickier in what they want in their friends.”
3. Move forward in small steps.
Start by looking in your community for activities that you already enjoy doing. Rita, for instance, checked out online and print lists of activities that she liked. “I realized that was how I first met some of my friends in college,” she said. “So I went to my local newspaper and also to online sources for something that I could do without feeling overwhelmed by having to be social.”
***4. Take a look at some of the connections that already exist in your life.***
A casual friend from yoga might be interested in having coffee with you. And coffee can be the first small step toward a deeper connection. A coworker who has children the same age as yours may not have any more time available than you do. As a colleague, she is probably not the right person with whom to share all of your self-doubts and insecurities, but she might be a source of sympathy and support when you are trying to figure out how to get your son started on his homework while you try to meet a deadline.
***5. Remember that there is no “one-size-fits-all” formula for making new friends.***
It might be as simple as just talking to other people, but if you’re shy or introverted, you might need someone else—a partner, a spouse, another friend, a colleague, or even a child—to help you make new connections.
According to popular belief, women get together to talk about feelings, while men get together to do something. Yet many men and women make connections through activities. Nate, for example, joined his company’s softball team and discovered that one of his co-workers also didn’t drink. “We went out with the team afterward, though, and it was great! He had a coke and I had a seltzer, and nobody even seemed to notice.
***6. Finally, keep in mind that deep friendships do not develop overnight.***
It takes time to get to know someone, and time for them to get to know you. If you’re looking for an immediate BFF, you’re going to be in trouble when you realize that at first, the connection might feel superficial. Over time, the relationship might deepen. But to start, it’s helpful to think, as one 90-something resident of a senior community told me:
“I have had good friends over the course of my life. Some of them are no longer with us, and others are just too far away for me to see or even talk to anymore. But, like the old song says, ‘If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.’ An acquaintance who I can chat with at lunch or play a game of bridge with in the afternoon is a good companion—and might become a good friend if we have enough time.”
[https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-couch/201806/need-new-friends-don-t-know-how-make-them](https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-couch/201806/need-new-friends-don-t-know-how-make-them)
Get a job, make friends at the job, also u have to make eye contact, by not making eye contact you are in a way telling the other person you are not interested in talking
By changing your Reddit username
Are you male or female? If I was thirsty for social interactions I would jump on a discord that talks about things I like. Like manga or video games and interact with people there.
If you have hobbies logging onto social media specific to those hobbies is a great way to meet people
Hey mate, I was in a similar position as you. The solution for me were friend findings subs on reddit over which I found friends and even tho most friendships don’t exist anymore, i got so much better in social skills in general by forcing me to voice call and stuff.
It’s not like I’m a social butterfly now, but it’s definitely easier to talk to friends and make friends even IRL now without always getting super anxious.
I feel the pain sucks men
You don’t
I don’t think everyone hates you. But what your friend told others probably made them apprehensive of talking to you. Find online communities to join or just keep going until everyone inevitably stops caring about what your friend said.