How do you react to verbal abuse in relationships?

29 comments

1. I sling some shit her way too, what the fuck.

   Let me tell you, theres NOTHING like going at it over text and then make-up sex when you see each other. Holy hot hell.

2. It’s not a very long relationship

3. fight fire with fire. tell her she’s fat and or ugly.

4. I’d be single immediately after.

   Why would I put up with that?

5. If it is straight up yelling at eachother, they probably don’t feel heard. In my statement I would repeat what they are saying. If the yelling is often and frequent, talk about it.
   If they are attacking your insecurities, ask yourself if they actually mean harm or if they are trying to help you face it and failing.
   If they’re doing it over text give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they’re joking.

   If I’m uncomfortable about something I straight up say that. In my experience that has been a sign of future physical and civil abuse.

6. Tell her straight up that she’s disrespecting you, that you don’t have to put up with it and stop responding. I like to add a little “talk to me when you’re ready to be an adult.”

   It has rarely ever backfired on me. They usually come back to apologize. And to the ones that don’t? Cya.

7. Love is giving somebody all the ammo they need to destroy you, and trusting them not to do so.

   If she/he violates this, they’re not the one. Move on. You let them get away with a few insults, it’s gets worse from there.

8. You stick to your boundaries/ tell them never to do that again. And if they do it again you dump their ass.

9. They wouldn’t be my partner anymore. I have zero tolerance for that kind of thing.

10. Not to be the typical nuclear Reddit response… but I would just dump them. Digging deep and attacking insecurities is just hateful and evil. No need for that in your life. Their only intention is to hurt you when doing that. Partners don’t hurt each other on purpose

11. I’ve had it once. The next time I am immediatly out.

12. Tell her to grow up and actually realise that it’s not just her who needs support but we also need it.

13. I react by dumping them. I know my own worth and I know I deserve better than to be treated that way. I’d be gone so fast

14. Name calling should be a deal breaker.

    Dating is not intended to discern how much misery you will tolerate. It isn’t something we endure.

    Dating is to find someone who we share a life philosophy with, someone who makes us feel safe, secure, desired, loved and wanted. If someone doesn’t offer all of that and more, it’s time to move on.

15. Insults me over texts and attacks my insecurities?

    Over immediately. No dialogue. No goodbye. Ice cold and final. Anyone who both BETRAYS your trust and ATTACKS your confessed vulnerabilities is a person so deeply disturbed… He or She isn’t capable of love. And is a danger to all who get involved with said person.

    I grew up in neglect and abuse. I entered teenage years gutted of a any value to anyone. I didn’t come from love. We replicate what we are comfortable with. Or we find the love we think we deserve. And I never even entertained the idea that I DESERVED love.

    My friend, if you are with a partner who insults you and attacks your insecurities, it means you need to end that and take a time out to get to know yourself a lot better.

    I was absolutely lost until I understood how dysfunctional the world I was born into was. Then it begins to make sense. Healing is a long path.

    I recommend a therapist. And I recommend one who is the same sex as the sex you are attracted to.

    This therapist will not betray you. And will help you make sense out of your life. And see the good on you. And help you heal.

    I hope you get all the love and healing you wish for.

16. The single most decisive factor in all separations and divorces is….**contempt**.

    A massive study lasting a decade showed that couple who demonstrate contempt for each other never last the journey.

    Get out.

17. I leave lol. No one is important enough to disrespect me except myself.

18. I wish I could say “break up and know my self-worth,” but I always hated conflict, so I’d just apologize or grit my teeth and bare it.

    I let my previous exes walk all over me on numerous occasions. I’d justify it to myself by saying that it wasn’t worth the fight or that I messed up so maybe I deserved to be called stupid or retarded in the moment.

    Thankfully those relationships ended and I’m now in a very healthy marriage with a kind, loving woman. But looking back, there are dozens of times where I should have put my foot down.

19. If they insult or berate me over something I did wrong that’s one thing but if they’re attacking my insecurities that’s a whole other deal. Relationship would probably stop soon after

20. I end the relationship.

21. I tell a bitch to step.
    I don’t let men who coukd easily whip my ass talk to me that way, why the fuck am I going to let you do it?

22. Invisible eye rolling

23. Set boundaries, enforce them. If they don’t accept… thats clearly not the one for you.

24. Good old slap in the face. People suddenly start to think about what they say when they know the consequances.

25. It took me longer to type this comment than it would have taken to break up. Zero time for that.

26. I’m a woman but I’d love to respond to this.

    I leave the relationship ASAP.
    No questions asked, no comments made, no whatsoever.

    I just don’t tolerate anyone that would dare abuse me verbally.

27. LEAVE AT ONCE.

28. Lived through it, it would be straight out the door now

29. lol everyone’s like “I’m outta there!”

    In reality if it’s someone you love, talk to them and tell them you do not like that and they must stop. If they choose not to, then you have to choose what’s best for you.

    Edit: been with my partner for over 15 years