My (F26) boyfriend (M24) went out yesterday for drinks with a girl he used to like and I think he cheated on me.
For context:
My boyfriend and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch. I got a job in another country and he’s been feeling quite lonely. I’ve suggested he rekindles an old group chat to see who would like to hang out with him on a Friday. He told me most likely it will be a girl he used to like, one of her mates and a guy who’s name when I asked he couldn’t remember.
Yesterday night, turns out only the girl could make it. Apparently she lives only 20 min away and will just come by for drinks and a quick chat. Although I felt somewhat uncomfortable with it, I said to my boyfriend he should go and enjoy himself.
A few hours in, he’s been texting me consistently but so much so that it felt ‘too much’? Saying how much all girls suck compared to me and he’s only thinking about me.
Then, he calls to say “oh, actually turns out she lives 1.5 hours away! And there are no trains, so I would have to drive her”.
By this point I’ve stated that this reached the limit of what I was comfortable with and asked him to drive her home, to which he happily agreed. Or so I thought.
Mind you, again, the drive is about 1 hr 20 min from what I googled.
I call after about 1.5 hours, he picks up from what sounds like the outside and says “I’ve just dropped her off, I love you, I’m coming home now”
I said “cool, call me from home”
He replied “oh but I’m so tired”
I said “no, please call me from home”
Guess what. Not 10 min in I call to check up on the drive. He says to me “oh I’ve reached home, I’ve been here for a while! When I called you I was already half way there”
Red flags: time made 0 sense! He was supposed to drive tor 3 hours total, how is he home after 2?
Another red flag: he definitely called from outside. It did not sound like he was driving a car.
I said “oh! What? That doesn’t make any sense!” And called on video.
He panicked slightly and turned it on. Shirtless, against a wall that’s definitely not in our house. I start majorly panicking, I yell and him to turn the camera around and show me the house.
He hangs up! Calls back 40secs after showing me he’s in bed In our house.
Why not just flip it around?
I think she was there, and he didn’t want me to see. But I also don’t really have any proof. He called so many times, texted through the whole night. Surely you wouldn’t do it if you were cheating?
So where is the time discrepancy coming from? And why not flip around the camera when I asked?
Im worried that I’m being too paranoid and will just destroy the relationship fighting about this.
5 comments
>I said to my boyfriend he should go and enjoy himself.
Well, it sounds like he really did enjoy himself. There is a reason you should never get into long distance relationships.
Best of luck in your next relationship, this one is done.
Evidence or no evidence, his behaviour is surely very off. The way you have described the situation makes me feel like he spent the night with the other girl. As a man who’s been there, and bsed on what you’ve explained, do not believe him. Why can’t he just turn the camera during the video call? Surely, you know that his behaviour is way off than it usually is. You should bet on your intuition that he’s actually out there cheating on you. But then again, intuition doesn’t amount to much, until there is a hard evidence. So you’ll need a bit of digging to do if you want to get to the ultimate truth.
He’s definitely a cheater, the relationship is over. sorry.
If you think he cheated. It doesn’t matter if he did or did not. You’re already mentally on your way out. Just break up with him.
There’s no reason why he shouldn’t have turned the phone around unless he is guilty and I think you already know this. There’s no way to spin why he didn’t and then hung up on you. Your instincts were correct and it’s time to let this cheater go. Don’t waste your years on him … you won’t ever be able to trust him again