Context: we recently started a new relationship together, and things have been going pretty good. About a week ago, however, she got into some trouble at work and has been under a lot of stress.
Now, trying to be a good boyfriend I’ve reached out, offered support, offered an ear, anything. She took my offer and we hung out once during this whole ordeal, and she seemed quite distant. When I asked her how I can support her best, she said something along the lines of needing time to just be herself, do her own thing or something.
So I’ve been trying to do that, but I’ve also been worried about her so I’ve been contacting her semi-regularly, not spamming her too much through the day. But through snapchat I can see she’s starting to distance herself from me. She’s been leaving me on read for hours and giving me the bare minimum replies, and won’t communicate basic things like if she wants me to just back off and give her space or what.
She also extended her road trip with the friend who got her in trouble without telling me, and when they came home early she didn’t tell me either, and when I offered to hang out since she’s freed up she just didn’t respond.
I’m feeling heartsick and just want to know what to do, part of me wants to end things: if she can’t communicate these things now, will this become a big issue moving forward? I really like her, but her recent behaviour has been off-putting. And I get that she’s under a lot of stress, but her trip seems to have alleviated a lot of it, and she still seems to be giving me the silent treatment for some reason. I just want to know from her what she wants from me but she won’t tell me, someone help!
2 comments
Being in a relationship requires enough emotional maturity to understand that your partner has emotional needs as well and they’re just as important as yours.
It’s okay and it’s normal to be going through hard times and sometimes to need alone time. When in a relationship, that should be communicated and there should still be an effort, like communication at least on a basic level, letting you know things like she’s going to be away longer than expected for example is the bare minimum.
You should communicate this with her, letting her know that you’re willing to give her the space she needs but as you’re making the effort of giving her space, she should be making the effort of still trying to be present and communicate every now and then.
The fact that she’s hurting right now doesn’t give her the right to hurt you, and she might not be aware of this so that’s why I think you should talk to her about this.
Seems like you are already out of the picture as far as she is concerned