My (28F) SO (28M) and I have been together for 5 years (married for 3 of those years) and have two kids together. We’ve had mixed reactions to this so I wanted to get other’s opinions on the matter.
We love each other, spend time together and overall get along well (we have our tiffs and buttheads like everyone) but early on once living together we realized we sleep EXTREMELY DIFFERENT.
He like to fall asleep to a tv, sleep under a thin sheet, spread out OR roll into a “burrito” with the sheet lol; he’s also a heavy sleeper, snores loud and sometimes talks in his sleep. I like to fall asleep to the room pretty much completely dark, prefer a quilt-type blanket and curl up. We both sleep hot (me especially since having kids). Overall, while we love to snuggle in bed at night and in the mornings, we’ve realized we both sleep better apart than together.
Since doing this, our relationship has gotten to be what it is today (previously stated above). People think we’re strange and make some pretty insensitive comments about our marriage but honestly our marriage is healthier now than it was before (PPD, anger, resentment, cheating, emotionally and physically disconnected). It’s just so interesting how sleep, or lack of, can impact someone’s relationship in so many ways.
**my hubs cheated one time (oral). We’ve worked thru it and while he’s stated it’s 100% his fault; I personally feel some of the blame is on me because I’d shut down and shut him out in all ways after having our first child.
4 comments
Every single marriage is different. If yall are both happy and it works, that all matters. I see nothing wrong with yall sleeping arrangement.
Don’t think you should worry about what people think. It’s none of their business anyway. Try not to share with people who won’t understand.
Sleep quality is sooooo important for your physical and mental health. That needs to take precedence over other people’s judgement.
I’m also a very light sleeper and feel like hell if I have to struggle next to a snoring person all night. I need silence to sleep. I don’t blame you at all, and as long as you can be physically affectionate at other times I see no harm!
There’s nothing wrong with sleeping separately, there’s lots of couples like that who need to sleep separately because of different sleeping habits. Just make sure you make time for intimacy that’s all.