I have always had trouble calling people by their names. I do remember their names, but I just can’t say their names. I don’t know what it is. I just feel weird saying it. It just doesn’t feel natural. I have never called people by their name, not even once. Even though they have said my name probably a thousand times. If they were to say, “Hi, (name).” I would just say, “Hi.” I can say the name of another person if I am talking about them, but that other person must not be present. I just feel like it’s too intimate and I overthink it, like I might mispronounce their name or something.
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I do this too, not sure why. maybe im just so used to the headset of “dont speak unless spoken to” so i never start conversations with people by addressing them but idk it feels weird to include their name when im speaking to them directly
I mean, in most settings it would be weird if you *did* when talking directly to them.
I thought I was the only weird one that never called people by their names
I just look in the direction of the person or whatever to make it known I’m about to say something to them or other times; I just start talking and hope they or someone listens….š š¤£
I feel very weird saying ppls names idk why it’s just very uncomfortable.
But like you say, I can say their names without a problem in conversation with other people when they are not present.
My wife does this with me and we’ve been together like 7 years. I’ve heard her say my actual name maybe a handful of times, but now that we have kids she can get away with referring to me as daddy (not in a sexual or creepy way).
Iām this way with my dad and my dad only. Iāve never called him āDadā. If I need help and heās in another room I wonāt yell āDad!?ā Iāll just be like āCan you come help?ā Idk why but ai just canāt
I relate to this so much! I even have a hard time calling my grandma ‘grandma’. I don’t know why, it just feels weird. Too intimate? I’m pretty much only comfortable calling my best friend by her name.
It’s just not natural for me to say people’s names tbh
I just call everyone Boss, Chief, Cowboy, Sensei, Big Hoss, Playboy, Killa, or Beardy.
I did this for years until I realized how my friendships and interactions were much more positive when addressing someone by their name. Just break the habit and start. Youāll get used to it, and eventually prefer it.
Same. Thought I was alone!
Took me a longtime to call people by name. was never used to it.Now I call people by nicknames (those who are okay with it) like Gwapa or Sambal lol. Heck.i used to call my siblings by their name instead of bro or sis..
sometimes me too
Yes, unless I’m distinguishing them in a group, I usually find using people’s names to be forced.
Do you feel weird when people use your name when speaking to you? I honestly hate usin *anyone’s* name but especially my own. I’ve changed names three times but it feels just as weird. I wonder if this is tied to any specific brand of neurodivergence…
I love using people’s names, it feels more personable.
Yea. when my social being was on its last legs Iād just to say āyoā or start talking like we said hi already.
I am the exact opposite, as in I try my best to refer people by their names.
I like it when people use my name and vice versa. I’ve read somewhere that it helps people to feel closer to each other, signalling that we are paying attention, appreciate them, and actually remember their names.
Then again, I’m an extrovert who finds people fascinating, so that’s probably the explanation as to why I enjoy and prefer to call people by their names, whenever possible and appropriate.
Just do what feels right here. I doubt most people notice care about a small detail like this.
This used to be an issue for me. For a while I had to force myself to address people by name and it eventually became a habit. Same with eye contact. I think I had to work on both at the same time.
Iām with you, guy
As a man, I’ve noticed most younger women don’t use my name at all.
I’m in my early twenties and am pro-social and charismatic so I tend to be great with names and will always make an effort to use someone’s name when I respect them (mostly everyone).
I work in a supermarket part-time though, with a staff of a few hundred, and I’ve noticed that while using people’s names is overwhelmingly a net positive around the store, most female co-workers around my age will not use my name in kind. Not sure if this is a bad thing or just how younger women tend to be.
Older female co-workers always use my name. All male staff use my name. But women my own age do not use my name at all :p
Had an employee named Emily who would periodically drop in her order sheets for us to do for her. And I’d always say ”Thanks Emily! :)” and she’d just walks away in silence. It took about 6 months before I started hearing a ”Thanks Oliver” from her in response to what I would always say.
I used to assume people who were like this were just shy. But now I’m not so sure… Because it’s only even young women who do this and it would mean all women are shy (which I don’t believe). So I suspect there is other reasoning for why women avoid using men’s names in the workplace.
Eventually they all use my name, but I’ve just noticed that it takes about six months of me constantly using a woman’s name before they consider using mine.
Me, too! I’m also usually uncomfortable when people use my name, to the point where I considered going by a different name when I got a job.
I read using names makes people like you, but when people use my name it feels too personal, too emotional. Maybe a little manipulative?
Glad that it’s not only me.
Yes, exactly this. Even with the people Iām closest to.
(the opposite side here)
Reminds me of a question I was asking myself a few times before:
Why don’t some people call me by my name.. My last boss didn’t an entire year, and someone I’m talking to at the moment doesn’t either..while I do.
It feels rather distant and isolated, and I don’t feel like being interested in those people personally anymore, because I think they aren’t either since they don’t use my name.
It’s just my personal view on why from the opposite side.
Maybe there is a real psychological underlying reason and I’m overthinking.
My friends say there is nothing to it, but I wouldn’t be too sure.
I also struggle with this,,, I think it is a Neuro-divergent trait,,,
At work Iāve notice that when people are nevious around me because they like me or they are intimidated by me they canāt my name.
I used to be more socially awkward so I get it but it do come off as rude. Just remember their name and use it right away so your comfortable saying out loud.
Otherwise it does come off as rude/ insecure.
I used to do this until I realized how good it felt to hear my name being said by someone I cared about (friends, family, romantic partners). I wanted to give that same feeling.
It was a little awkward at first so I would give nicknames (or even just calling a āJohnā ājohnathonā) and say it kinda singsongy sometimes lol. It can kinda help you gauge their feelings about you, too. If you call a āJohnā ājohnathonā in a singsongy voice youāll learn immediately how much he does or does not fuck with you š.
Edit: Beware! People will probably also pickup on how you feel about them, too cause (if itās someone you donāt particularly care for) either they get a singsongy nickname, too (in which case they can hear the disdain in your song no matter how much you try to hide it) or they see that they donāt get one but someone else does. So be cognizant of ppls feelings/insecurities if you decide to be a weirdo like me.
I’ve learned throughout the years that calling a person by their first name makes them like you a fraction more. Compounding interest.
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It takes a lot of effort for me to remember names, but I do it because it gets me results.
I use names to avoid pronouns.
Same. I find it a little weird when people I’ve worked with for years are saying “Good morning, [Name].” Who else could they be talking to, there’s just the two of in the elevator.
Sure, I use a name when there’s more people around and I need.to specifically talk to just one. But not for just a simple greeting.
I have done this, too. When I was in the army, I met a man in my unit, last name Ford. Well, me & Ford started banging, then we started dating. In the 3 years I dated him, I never once called him by his first name, and after we started banging I stopped calling him by his last name, too. I called him ābabeā and thatās it. To this day I cringe when I bring him up, even my bestie addresses him as Ford.
Iāve been dating my current partner over 4.5 years now, and Iāve seen his parents a thousand times and I have never addressed them by name. Itās so awkward. Theyāre also in their 80s so I feel like I should be calling them Mr. and Mrs. Lastname and not their first names anyway, but I do neither. š
Same. I rarely use names. I only say their name sometimes by accident in the heat of the moment when I’m trying to get their attention I guess.
Same for me. I guess in my case it comes from my mother rarely adressing people by their names, and subconsciously following her example. I have tried forcing myself to do it, when I realized I liked hearing people say my name. I still have to think about it sometimes but It has become more natural to do so.