I have some friends who I recently don’t feel that close anymore. We don’t really text or talk to each other privately. The group chat is mostly people asking each other if they want to hangout and rarely any banter being exchanged. I personally won’t be interested in hanging out with a person if I don’t feel like I will have fun with them in personal or over phone. Especially now that work is taking up most of my time, my impression of a person over phone became more important. I also know some people just love hanging out with people regardless because they feel that connection will come when they hang.
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First of all, they know how to genuinely connect with you when they are with you. They ask you questions and allow you to speak and express yourself freely. They make you feel heard. They listen to what you have to say and show they are paying attention by making statements or asking follow up questions. When you ask them questions, they match your energy. They express themselves freely and confidently. In the end, good vibes are channeled both ways and both parties feel good and comfortable talking to one another.
Next, they are not dependent on you for approval, attention, validation, or reassurance. They don’t chase after you and beg for these things if you aren’t giving it for whatever reason. They know how to validate themselves and are well rounded in life. They give you space and proceed to do other things or talk to other people if you are unavailable.