So me (34M) and my partner (24F) had a pretty big argument over the last couple days. I’m not going to bother going over all of that but this morning (since we were both off work today) sat down and had talked about everything.
At the end of our conversation she told me that her friends had brought up the fact that I sound like a controlling person. It really caught me off guard so I asked her “well what makes you and them think that I’m controlling?” She tells me “they said a sign of being controlling is that you say my name alot..”
I didn’t even know what to say. She added that she wasn’t sure what to think of it but that it could make sense because I like to be in control during sex.. I asked her if there was anything else that I do that would make her think that I’m controlling but she couldn’t come up with anything else. I personally think it sounds rediculous. I don’t know how I’m supposed to talk to her if I’m being controlling by saying her name.
9 comments
What her and her friends are saying is a huge reach and tbh sounds utterly ridiculous.
Using someone’s name a lot is not controlling.
Her friends might be confused in some way. Did she mention that she had issues with you being controlling in bed?
Sounds like you are dating a teenage.
How is saying her name controlling?
i call my girlfriend by her last name alot, or if i’m trynna be romantic i say miss then her last name
Dude her friends are fucking idiots. It might be a way to sabotage your relationship as such people can be quite vicious while acting like they have your gf’s best interest at heart.
Ofcourse it’s fucking ridiculous. Wtf are you supposed to call her then?
Tell her in no uncertain terms if she thinks you’re controlling coz you use her name a lot then she can take a hike and stand by it. And continue using her name. Don’t give in to such rubbish because if you do, it’ll only get worse down the line.
You’re 34 dude. You’ve got more important priorities in life without the need to de with this teenage bullshit.
She is taking advice from stupid friends, and venting to them. She obviously needs outside help, so why don’t you get professional help, since the support she is seeking may be well intentioned but is causing more problems.
Did you ask her and wait for a response or put her on the spot? If her friends think you’re controlling, I doubt that’s the only reason they’d think that.. If that’s their only reason, then yeah it’s really stupid.
I dont see how it’s controlling but I do think that saying someone’s name a lot while talking to them can be patronising