25F here.
A few months ago I got what I thought would be a “dream job” at a “dream company” which I am now planning on leaving as soon as my contract is over (more on that later).
Things got tricky straight away, as my immediate supervisor (the head of my department) took an instant dislike to me from my very first day at work. This resulted in a month of her ignoring me at best (even when I spoke to her directly) and berating me at worst. I started to get very anxious about showing up to work each day and sometimes she was so aggressive in the way she targeted me I cried in the office bathroom stall.
It got to a point in which I was regularly panicked about going in the office and frankly terrified of turning in any work, so I decided to go to my manager and tell him about it. The reason I went to him and not HR is that HR is notoriously awful at my company – they have never made any contact with me since the day I was hired, and are hardly in the office.
I am sure this was a mistake, but I was do desperate (and, at that point, still willing to try and keep the job) I felt I had no other choice. My manager had a stern talk with my supervisor, and, from that point on, she simply froze over. She never apologized to me, and, to this day, does not speak to me and will be hyper-critical of any work I turn in, despite my best effort. The most frustrating part is that I see it is clearly personal, as she is otherwise an affable, social person who regularly talks and jokes around with the others.
To make matters worse, I am sure she told everyone about my “outburst” as every person in my office avoids me, ignores me, etc. I have tried to be friendly to everyone, but to no avail. Now, when they plan drinks in the evening I do not even want to join as I know they do not want me there.
I have decided that the culture at my workplace (for this reason and many more) is toxic and I intend to leave in the fall, but I still have a few months I need to stay and work so I can save up some money for after I quit. I am a very sensitive, conflict-averse person (I have ADHD, which might be related to that?) and the thought of having to work with people who are actively shunning me out of their in-group and who regularly make me feel like I am awful at my job is making me anxious and depressed almost every day. How do I deal with this? Any practical tips on how to let go and not care about a workplace and a job I am leaving in a few months anyway?
IDK if I should have posted this on any other sub, but this one seemed appropriate. Thank you!
TLDR; need help not caring about what my co-workers who dislike me think about me.