I’ve (23F) been with my boyfriend (25M) for 3 years, almost 4 and we’ve lived together for almost the entirety of our relationship. Some days he’ll be super lovey and cuddly and act “normal” toward me. Other days he’ll come from work and he’s already mad at me for no reason. He’s said before that sometimes he comes home and just finds everything about me annoying and that he just can’t handle me sometimes. Even when I don’t do anything to him. He literally walks into the apartment and can’t even look at me. Today was one of those days.
Today, he came home from work and was angry— literally wouldn’t talk to me. He said he was just sleepy and he was going to take a nap. I said “okay I’m gonna go to the gym for a bit” and he ignored me and went to sleep. When he woke up, he was mad that I went to the gym. He kept asking “why do you need to go alone, huh?” And I was… confused. He goes to the gym alone all the time so why can’t I? I genuinely just want to get in better shape and he knows that. After I got home from working out, he said “I’m gonna go get something to eat” so I asked “can I go with you? I’ll shower really quick” and he got mad at me. He said “oh so you can go to the gym alone but I can’t go get something to eat alone?” I told him I haven’t had dinner and that I’m hungry and he said “You can go by yourself” and he left.
Am I the asshole in this situation? I mean… Idk what to do because I’ve tried talking to him and he just gets mad when I bring up how I feel. I’m a cryer so if I start even tearing up, he starts yelling at me and saying I’m dramatic, annoying, and that I need to “shut the fuck up”. How do you deal with someone like this? Is this normal in a relationship? Please help. I feel like I’m going crazy.
TL;DR: My boyfriend is happy with me sometimes and many other times he’s admitted to being annoyed by me even when I don’t do anything to him. He comes home angry at me, ignores me, then calls me annoying and tells me to “shut the fuck up” when I try to talk to him.
EDIT: I broke up with him!!! Thanks to everyone that commented. I already feel a huge weight off my shoulders.
8 comments
You need to leave that relationship ASAP
This all sounds like he’s a manipulator and trying to make you question yourself. Someone who tells you you’re dramatic for having a natural reaction (crying when being yelled at) is not someone who has your best interest. I think the best course of action is to leave him before he traps you even further and destroys your self confidence.
So, if you start crying, he becomes abusive. How you deal with an abuser is you leave. Also, even in a non-abusive relationship, if you can’t work together as a team and talk through problems together, you break up.But in this case, he’s abusive, so you leave and block him and be happy to never have to deal with him again.
Stop bothering him then. Permanently. Whatever their problems are, they clearly can’t handle being in a relationship while they sort them out.
People have bad days once in awhile. Sometimes people are angry about work or whatever and know they are going to be bad company and want to be alone. That’s perfectly fine and normal.
Having that happen so often your partner thinks you hate them is not normal, and not fine.
Telling your partner to shut the fuck up when they try to talk to you is absolutely not ok.
If they aren’t willing to talk to you about it there really isn’t much you can do to try to fix things.
You don’t sound like the asshole here.
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So does he actually like you? Or does he have unmedicated bipolar cause that ain’t normal
Any man who raises their voice at me is gone 👋
There nothing more to say except he’s just not nice. Your partner should want to be nice to you. Get outta there and find a nicer man
Mine is kind of the same way…