Men, what makes a relationship toxic?

34 comments

1. bickering and fighting all the time. Game playing and not having honest communication.

2. Not listening to each other.

   Everyone communicates what they think and feel but it’s falling on deaf ears if they also don’t actively listen and understand.

   Also, dodging crockery. That sucks too.

3. jealousy and not listening to your partner

4. The silent treatment.

5. Controlling behavior, silent treatment, manipulation, not listening to your partner and not respecting boundaries. I ended a 6 month relationship with a hot 21 year old last month because she was all those things. Not worth the headache.

6. Being manipulative and controling

7. Entitlement. One side doing all the work and the other thinking just being there is enough.

8. Two people that want to win an argument instead of solving a problem.

9. When there is no space to breathe and just be yourself.

10. Not being able to communicate feelings

11. Compromise by me to help her involved me doing 99% of what she wanted, but compromise for her doing something to help me involved doing about 1% of what I wanted.

12. Insecurities and controlling behavior

    Basically being a major hypocrite in an extremely unfair manner

13. manipulation, games, immaturity, insecurity, projections etc.

14. Inelasticity.

    The inability to give, take, and apply criticisms. If you are the same person with your partner day 1 as you are 1 year you’re probably fucking something up.

    Emotional unavailability.

    Being over emotional is bad, but never expressing your emotions is worse. Not one wants to date a stonewall. Express how you feel, otherwise your partner will feel disconnected.

    Jealously.

    Never get jealous of your partner for any reason. It will build resentment and that resentment will come out in ugly ways.

    Cheating.

    Do I really need to say why?

15. I see my ex in a bunch of these responses.

16. When a woman thinks a relationship is something you do to her, or that happens to her. Rather than an equal partnership she has to participate in.

17. Not being able to talk to each other in fear of pissing the other person off

18. Lack of respect. Respect is required between partners in a relationship.

19. Violence.

20. Trust issues can make a relationship toxic.

21. When a person berates you. Abuses you (verbally, emotionally). A person who plays mind games…

22. A person who uses you. Abuses you. Toy WITH YOU. Effects you mental health.

23. If your usual mood about anything you do or say is anxiety about your partners reaction to it, then it is toxic.

    If your usual mood about anything you do or say is anticipation about your partners reaction to it, then it is healthy.

24. Lack of accountability and introspection.

    Any time someone is unwilling to confront themselves and admit and accept when they have behaviors the hurt others, the relationship is doomed.

    To the same token, people who lack these qualities will also never appreciate it in you. So you can spend a life time trying so hard to better yourself and they’ll never acknowledge or appreciate it.

    Relationship killers. Beyond even communication. Because how do you even communicate with people like that in the first place..?

25. When you get home, are about to open the door and think “I hope she’s not home”

26. Being gaslit.

27. Constantly making date plans only to back out last minute but string you on enough to keep you around

28. men are supposed to ______& fill in the blank. & when men dontt, thats unrealistic expectations. & then because of that, the resentment, bitterness which then they play mindfuck games, manipulation, put downs, to get even for not being what they are supposed to be, do what they are supposed to do.

29. Having sex with Brian the next door neighbor

30. Trying to attach too fast sexually so that when the insecure stuff comes out, you’re too addicted to the supply of physical intimacy to allow yourself to notice or address it as if it were any problem at all.. don’t fall for it boys, you who’ve been touch starved, unloved by your mothers..

    True intimacy takes time to grow and it doesn’t come from sex

31. Lack of accountability mixed with entitlement and sprinkled with lack of communication.

32. Getting into said relationship for the desire to get support/”become whole.”

    You should both go into a relationship as independent people so you can build each other up instead of being needy, clingy or insecure and tearing each other down.

33. When it’s you vs. me.

    Not us vs. the problem.

    Also, silent treatment

34. My last one…
    She was extremely toxic.
    Extremely controlling and the whole relationship was me trying to appease her…. never knowing when she might lose her shit and me walking on eggshells!