We matched on a dating app a year ago. He lives far away and we’ve never really met in person yet. He’s a good guy. Showed interest when we started talking and eventually, we became good friends.

The thing is, when he’d show interest before, I’d dodge it or joke about it. During our serious conversations, it kinda shows that he’s still not fully over his ex and I wasn’t also fully over mine at the time we started talking. So I didn’t want to be someone else’s rebound and I also didn’t want to dump my trauma on someone else.

So anyway, we continued talking, but at one point, it kinda felt like I had already moved on from my ex and he wasn’t there yet. Our friendship was forming; but given the time difference, he’d sometimes be absent – and I just wanted someone more consistent and I felt ready for a relationship so wasting time on someone who obviously wasn’t ready for it would be unwise.

So I would distance myself from him but he’d keep initiating. And sometimes I’d reply, sometimes I’d just react. Like he didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t want to ghost him. I just wanted something else. At the time, I didn’t want it from him too.

Now we’ve been talking again, and I’ve sincerely come to like him. We’re still friends, same as before. He’s still sweet to me, but the thing is, he has never said anything outright. Like yeah he says I love you, initiates conversations, etc. BUT in my head, it’s probably just coming from a friendly place now. Like there’s a possibility he could like me, sure, but I’m 100% sure that I like him now. He’s a wonderful person and he’s been through some bad things and he’s still so kind. And becoming his friend has let me see that – but I also know he could be talking to other girls and might be the same way with them too. Nonetheless, speaking of him as a person, he’s a really good person and I think that’s what slowly led me to fall for him.

Anyway, I’m 10000% sure I’ve fallen for him because of who he is. The thing is, it’s becoming unhealthy for me to have feelings for him and not knowing how he really feels about me. I’m assuming he only sees me as a friend now and I’m fine with that. But how do I move forward with the friendship and slowly let go of my feelings?

I really love this guy. I think he deserves the world. Whether or not it comes from me. I want him to be happy.

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