what made you realise your S/O was not the one

27 comments

1. I started to get annoyed with her.

2. Pre- and post-inheritance behavior.

3. When she cheated on me.

4. When she filed for divorce

5. There was a point when I realized I was doing everything alone bc my S/O just never wanted to join me for things (parties, concerts, my families events or holidays). After 3 years of this it just hit me that if I was going to do all this stuff alone, I might as well be alone.

   While I fully understand that those were his healthy boundaries, for me at the time I wanted to share my life with someone, not parallel.

6. him raping me lmao

7. Took a while after the breakup. But when I realized she couldn’t be what I needed.

   She was immature, frequently failed to communicate, constantly disrespectful and one of those “I hate everyone” type of people.

   I hope she grows and finds what she’s looking for.

8. She yelled at me for “sexualizing” her sister when I tried having a talk with her about her sister pursuing me sexually and touching me a lot.

   Her sister raped me.

   It led to years of physical abuse. And one night she hit me and called the police on me when I tried to pack my bags and leave. I knew right there because I couldn’t do anything anymore.

9. When they gaslighted & cheated on me.

10. She took way more emotionally than she gave.

11. When I figured out that she was going to go ahead with the wedding, even though she didn’t want to.

12. Her cocaine addiction

13. When we were 27 with a child and she couldn’t commit to being a adult and working for a living, because she thought she’d “missed out” on being young and not having responsibility (even though she didn’t). 4 years later, I’ve tripled my income and bought a house. She lives with her parents. We share custody 50/50 because it’s what’s fair, but I feel like one of us works a lot harder to make sure our daughter is happy.

14. When she cheated and blamed me for her cheating

15. She kept falling on other peoples dicks.

16. When she cheated on me with my best friend. A 3 year romance and a 20 year friendship gone all at one. I was crushed but now I’m happier than I have ever been and I’m living my life with great enjoyment!

17. She wanted to be around me day in and out, do nothing but argue, and didn’t want me to hang with my friends cause she assumed I was going to be flirting with random women.

18. When she broke up with me in an attempt to use our relationship as a bargaining chip

19. She was lazy af. She hated work. The more time she had, the more TV she watched. I’m glad I woke up when I did. She was just a giant child and quite honestly the sex became repulsive when I realized she would talk about wanting babies but could barely be fucked to take care of her dog.

20. When I realized that she was truly a bpd. So often people throw around psychology terms to deflect project or whatever. Point is I think people use these terms nowadays carelessly. One day I realized she really did tick of all the boxes though and knew it was never going to get better.

21. When she was more focused on living in the moment and ignoring finances because “tomorrow isn’t guaranteed”

22. – Couldn’t accept and try to fix her shortcomings in our relationship that I needed her to address. Somehow everything she didn’t/wouldn’t do was a result of some fault of mine and so I was the one who had to feel bad and fix myself, not her

    – Was lied to by her on multiple occasions. Some worse than others, but even lies about inconsequential things are red flags I put up with because I was blinded

    – She was uncomfortable around me doing certain things, but then she would go and do those things herself

    – Made me feel like a burden for turning to her for support when I was overwhelmed by my mental health

    – Disrespected my family (who helped her and let us live with them while her and I were trying to bounce back on our feet after college) behind their backs but then would be fake polite to their faces. But if I made comments about her family who both openly mocked me to my face and when I wasn’t around, she’d get mad

    There’s others but I’m getting annoyed thinking about it lol

23. 1 because she cheated and a couple others who were now “reformed” heauxs. Like, not on some I did something young and dumb. But on some “I kept doing it a few more times.” And they would try to play it off as “I made a mistake.”
    The same thing being done more than once is not a mistake. That’s just you.

24. She was very nosey, didn’t respect my privacy wanted to hang out and eat fast food way too often and put mayonnaise on pizza.

25. When she cheated twice on me and tried to manipulate me into saying I cheated as well but I’m stuck living in the same house with her, so now I have to pay the consequences for my actions. She logged onto my iCloud account started reading all messages and my tinder likes and argued with me about what I’m doing lmao

26. I unfortunately let “the one” get away due to life circumstances, but it has let me gauge others to how well they fit me.

    My last long term relationship was almost 7 years but I realized it had devolved into exactly what I didn’t want life to be: Get up, go to work, come home, stare at TV together, go to bed.

    When I met her she was one of the most motivated people I’ve ever met. Then during our time together, she stopped college ONE class short of her degree (still ending up in massive debt), started working jobs she hated and would leave her no time/energy for other things, stopped caring about fitness, and generally just ‘existed’. I wanted a partner to GROW with.

    But she never did anything “wrong.” The relationship kind of fizzled out, but it took me awhile to realize after it ended, why I didn’t ever really ‘miss’ her.

27. Every time I see this question, I think “my man’s is goin through it right now.”

    Bruh. If you have to ask this question to a bunch of Reddit strangers, she ain’t it. It sucks and it hurts, but it’s the truth. Your person won’t make you post this question to Reddit. I promise you.